Jokes

Jokes

Reads 72
Votes 0
Parts 28

Ongoing<5 mins

Last published Sat, Jul 13, 2019

dope english friend fun funny

Here are the funniest jokes I seen on Wattpad, on the Internet and also from me, so go laugh!!!

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Wrong Number [18+]
Against my better judgment, I answer, "Look I told you, you have the wrong number," I say a bit too harshly. "I wish I was the girl you were looking for but I'm not." "You do, huh?" His husky voice fills my ear again and I shiver. What the hell is he going on about? "What are you talking about?" I ask confused. "That you wish you were the girl I was looking for," he says amused. I groan remembering exactly what I said and palm my face, "I said that huh?" "Uh huh!" *** Fallon Mathews is a waitress who works entirely too hard and too much. She is pretty, smart, and not shy. Alexander Grant is the owner of one of the hottest clubs around- which just so happens to be the same club that Fallon likes to go to in her free time. Oh did I also mention that he is the son of a well-known CEO? A billionaire? No!? Well, he is. He isn't a player, but he does sleep around a lot. After all, he is single. What happens after he is given the wrong number that just so happens to be, Fallon's? Love, friendship, heartache, drama, and tragedy all in one! **WARNING** There most likely will be lots of errors! This story is for mature readers ONLY! [18+] **This story contains violence, strong sexual content, strong language, and adult themes.** If you do not like these things, please do not attempt to read them. Thank you! Readers discretion IS advised!!! This story belongs to me and is ONLY posted on Wattpad and should not be found anywhere else. Please inform me if you see this story anywhere other than on here and under my profile, thank you!
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Secrets keeper
Gawking two guys in a hot-blown make-out session in the mathematical section of the library was not what I expected my first day after Winter breaks to be like. And didn't realize that seeing them was about to change my whole high school experience... Lillian Smith, the shy, quiet, nerdy girl, gets transferred to the most prestigious high school in her town, West Hills High, on a scholarship in her junior year. She spends half of her year hiding from the rich kids at her school to prevent any trouble. But one accidental encounter at the library with the popular bad boy of her high school changes things for her. One little secret leads to another until Lillian gets stuck with the secrets of the popular group, The Clichés. The burden of the secrets becomes heavy, and Lillian doesn't know what to do with them anymore. ~•~•~•~•~•~ "What's your name?" "Lillian... Lillian Smith." "Okay, Lillian, so this is what going to happen next." He crossed his arms. "I'm going to let you go and you-" he held his finger at me, "- will tell no one about this." I bobbed my head. "And if I hear even a single word uttering from your mouth about us..." He gestured between him and Toby. "I will-" "- Kill you." I finished for him and give him a thumbs up. "Got it." "Then it's settled!" Toby announced, clasping his hands and beamed. "It's going to be our little secret." ~•~•~•~•~•~ FEATURED ON: @Romance (Young Adult) @TeenFiction (Head Over Heals) @Humor (Isn't it romantically funny?) @YA (Clueless) HIGHEST RANKINGS: #1 Teen, Rich Kids, Secret affair, Nerd, Playboy #3 Young adult, Humor [Words count: 200,000 - 250,000] **Book Cover and Trailer made by me**
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Awesome Short Stories
Hey, y'all! Welcome to Awesome Short Stories! Enjoy reading them, as they will feature me, my Wattpad friends and family, and plenty of fictional characters! If you need an escape from reality, or are having a stressful time, Awesome Short Stories is the book for you!
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Accidentally Mine: A Dysarthria Love Story ✔
Dysarthria- The condition that makes speaking difficult. But feeling everything? Not that easy. - Gracie Summers was quiet. Not because she didn't have anything to say. But because getting the words out was hard. So she kept to herself. No drama. No risks. Until she got a text from a wrong number that changed anything. What started out as a simple mistake became late-night texts and an unexpected connection with a stranger. But real life isn't a fairy tale. Because the number wasn't meant for her. And the girl it was meant for wasn't going to let him go without a fight. Between jealousy, betrayal and a mistake that changed everything, Gracie had a choice to make. Is it just another story that wasn't meant to be hers... or one worth laying her heart on the line for? #1 / 186K stories in 'comedy' tag {7/21/24} #8 / 238K stories in 'funny' tag {7/22/24} #1 / 5.67K stories in 'talk' tag {4/30/26} #6 / 38.3K stories in 'shortchapters' tag {5/2/26} #3 / 3.05K stories in 'sportsromance' tag {5/20/26} #2 / 1.35K stories in 'selfgrowth' tag {5/24/26}
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The Way I Loved You ✓
She'd die for love. He didn't believe in love. *** From reading The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood, to watching 10 Things I Hate About You, to listening to You are in Love by Taylor Swift, Emily Kingsley's life is a sum of moments she has spent after romance. Watching, reading, listening or daydreaming, romance has never failed to comfort this high school junior of 17 years of age. She has her own issues: self-sabotage, lack of focus in studying, randomly popping up acne and not loving the way she looked. But she could forget all that as long as she is reading about two people falling in love and finding their happily ever after. Emily wants a romance for herself too, and she knows just the person for it. Landon McArther, a senior in her school. According to Emily, Landon is handsome, sophisticated, well-spoken and unlike any of the immature boys of her class who didn't get her at all. Landon was everything Emily has always dreamed about and moreover he appreciates her for the person she is. But there's just a teeny-tiny problem. Landon McArther has a girlfriend. While that wasn't in Emily's bingo card, she hopes, prays, and longs for the day Landon will be single (because he is Emily's soulmate, and he has to be) and awaits her chance for romance. At the same time, her seatmate in chemistry, the rumored delinquent, grumpy asshole Nathan Callahan, makes fun of her romantic dreams. Can Emily ever find true love? Completed. A fun romcom that will make you scream and squeal and blush! Added to the RomCom reading list by Wattpad Humor Added to Ambassador's monthly pick for September by Wattpad Humor Added to 'Slice of life' reading list by Wattpad Ambassadors Highest rating: #1 in YoungAdultRomance #1 in Prom #1 in hopelessromantic #1 in junioryear #1 in Taylorswiftcoded
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The Tamed valiant
"I'm cumming daddy." I said "oh so you're close huh." He said biting his lips. He went faster than ever. "Aaahhhh." I screamed. "Shut the fuck up." He said going faster. "Ok daddy." I obeyed. He went fast. "Just tell me when you're gonna cum exactly ok." "Ok daddy." I whimpered. "Aaaaaaahhh, here I come, I'm cumming, Aaahhhhh." I just came all over his hand and he licked it clean and swallowed it, and licked the rest off my pussy. "Oh God you taste heavenly." ‼️‼️CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, AND SEXUAL SCENES ‼️‼️ ENJOY ☮
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{Not so} Daily whines
some {Not so} Daily whines, diary entries and/or ranty chapters that I'm gracing the world of Wattpad with that are in fact 100% true some parts are funny, some sad and some just me spilling my weirdness into a chapter because why the f not so sit back, relax, and enjoy the disastrously planned show don't forget to leave a cute comment on the way out ;) -L
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Wattpad Clichés
I'm kind of a mess, well I'm actually a hot ass mess. But I like to rant about Wattpad and its corny ass clichés so here I am. (humor: #78) cover: @ObsessedHumor
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I Hate Football Players 2 (under editing)
Finding relationships is easy... Keeping them is the real game. That's what I'm learning in my first one. It's not easy. Our rival schools are an hour apart, my best friend's turning secretive, my parents are controlling, and my brother's still an ass, gearing toward winning the state championship, and still doesn't like my boyfriend, Logan. I get it, they're rivals, and I kinda feel like Logan's team might be better but this season will decide. Being the star rival quarterback's girlfriend brings big rumors and big drama, especially when elements of our pasts resurface - his jaded ex whatevers, and the secrets I thought I'd buried and moved beyond. All of this while I just want to figure out where to go for college and what for. Some relationships will always stand the test of time and distance, while others crumble by the time the high school dust settles. I hope Logan and I are in the former because I'm falling hard for him. Really hard. Forever love hard. Story is ongoing with frequent updates. Please add it to your reading list! Note: Mature language and some chapters have mature content. To follow Wattpad's under-18 contents guidelines, the impacted scenes are all fade-to-black. highest ranks: #1 - teendrama #1 - teenfictionromance #2 - california #2 - youngadultromance #4 - senior #36 - fiction link to story 1: https://www.wattpad.com/story/223823599-i-hate-football-players and the next one: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/265825663-i-hate-football-players-3

Wrong Number [18+]

Against my better judgment, I answer, "Look I told you, you have the wrong number," I say a bit too harshly. "I wish I was the girl you were looking for but I'm not." "You do, huh?" His husky voice fills my ear again and I shiver. What the hell is he going on about? "What are you talking about?" I ask confused. "That you wish you were the girl I was looking for," he says amused. I groan remembering exactly what I said and palm my face, "I said that huh?" "Uh huh!" *** Fallon Mathews is a waitress who works entirely too hard and too much. She is pretty, smart, and not shy. Alexander Grant is the owner of one of the hottest clubs around- which just so happens to be the same club that Fallon likes to go to in her free time. Oh did I also mention that he is the son of a well-known CEO? A billionaire? No!? Well, he is. He isn't a player, but he does sleep around a lot. After all, he is single. What happens after he is given the wrong number that just so happens to be, Fallon's? Love, friendship, heartache, drama, and tragedy all in one! **WARNING** There most likely will be lots of errors! This story is for mature readers ONLY! [18+] **This story contains violence, strong sexual content, strong language, and adult themes.** If you do not like these things, please do not attempt to read them. Thank you! Readers discretion IS advised!!! This story belongs to me and is ONLY posted on Wattpad and should not be found anywhere else. Please inform me if you see this story anywhere other than on here and under my profile, thank you!

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