Writing for the Writingly Impaired

Now, girly, you say you want to learn to write? Well, let me tell you, I’ve read your stuff. You have a good plot, character development. . . But the construction? Needs some work, don’t you agree? So I’m gonna teach you about what really matters in the world of writing, and that’s one word. . .

Ice Cream.

EDIT: Reading this now, I just realized this is two words. How could I miss that? Ice. Cream. So. . .

So I'm gonna teach you about what really matters in the world of writing, and that's TWO words. . .

Ice Cream.