My Israel
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I was moved to write this story in an effort to educate people about God, His laws and how it caused me to separate myself from a religion I practiced for nearly 40 years. I also hope to inspire others to gain an interest and perhaps, as I have obtained, a passion for studying Biblical Hebrew. I will also uncover a centuries old conspiracy to conceal the actual name of God!
Another purpose is to dispel some myths that people that leave The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints leave for only two reasons; they have lost faith, or they have been offended by someone. This is not the case with me, and I believe there is a growing number of people who have left for similar reasons.
I want to be clear, my intent is not to destroy the church. I do not have any animosity towards the church nor the leaders or members. I acknowledge many members and leaders of the church are truly dedicated to living the gospel the best they know how. I also have great empathy for current members of the church as just a few years ago, I was a devout member of the church myself!
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"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reserved
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