Pistol dan Bunga Ros
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- Parts 1
"A-Ariq? Kau sayang aku ke?" selamba aku tanya dia. Aku tak percayakan kasih sayang. Mana ada orang sayang kat aku. I'm fucking useless. "Fiq," katanya, memegang kedua-dua bahuku. "Aku janji aku takkan tinggalkan kau. Kalau aku tak tepati janji aku, aku harap kau bersabar. Dah hilang sabar tu, aku bernarkan kau bunuh aku, jika itu yang dapat puaskan hati kau. Tapi pastikan kau letak bunga ros atas mayat aku sebelum polis jumpa aku."
Mak aih. Biar betul mamat ni.
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Umpisa pa lang alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi mo naman susuklian ang pagmamahal na nararamdaman ko para sa'yo. Una pa lang alam ko ng kapatid lang ang tingin mo sa akin habang sa kaniya tingin mo ay magiging asawa at maging nanay ng mga anak mo. Alam ko. Sa umpisa pa lang alam na alam ko. Pero kahit totoong alam ko sa sarili ko ang bagay na 'yan. Mas pinili kong magbulagbulagan kasi akala ko makikita mo din ako, hindi bilang kaibigan o kapatid kundi bilang isang babae. Akala ko sa paglipas ng panahon ay matututunan mo din akong mahalin at piliin kahit pa iniwan ka niya. Akala ko mapapalitan ko siya sa puso mo. Ngunit sa paglipas ng panahon. Mas lalong maging malinaw ang lahat. Naging sobrang linaw na hindi na kayang maging bulag bulagan. Hindi ko maiwasang mag tanong kung anong mali sa sarili ko. Ako naman yung nandito sa tabi mo pero bakit hindi ako? Bakit kahit wala na siya ay kalaban ko pa din siya diyan sa puso mo? Bakit kahit wala na siya ay kahati ko pa din siya sa diyan sa atensyon mo? Bakit... Bakit hinihintay mo pa din siyang bumalik sa'yo?
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