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Bury Me [Billie Eilish x Female Reader]
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- Parts 3
I'm good at hiding everything.
~*~
I've known her since we were kids, crushed on her since we were tweens. I was there for her when she was spiraling in on herself, her world collapsing around us. I was there for her when she became famous and loved her since she told me she was depressed and I said,
"Me too."
I knew she didn't like dating people exclusively, and I knew she was straight, so I didn't tell her, didn't let her know.
My depression was worsening, and I didn't want to talk about it, because it felt trivial. My coping mechanisms got worse and I cracked, cutting my skin.
I didn't tell her, but I wished I could sometimes.
I listen to her music, and it's amazing, but every time I hear her say, "I wanna end me," I cry, and think...
So do I.
Warning: this contains suicidal thoughts, actions, and tendencies. This fanfiction also contains Lesbians, and queer culture, read at your own discretion.
All Rights Reserved
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***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.
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