ARACHNE BOY

Niko Moore wants one thing more than anything else in the world (besides going one day without being teased by his best friend, whose fondness towards him is rather strange as she is limitlessly popular and he is... not so much). For as long as he has known her, he has yearned for the undivided love and affection of the girl he would doubtlessly donate every single penny he owns for. For as long as he has known her, he knows that retrieving even the slightest bit of attention would be a hieroglyphic feat. To put in the words of his aforementioned legendary comrade- "I think the world would end before she'd breathe in your general direction, but shoot your shot, I guess."

But admittedly, when he somehow finds himself in the midst of a scenario that seems to be plucked straight out of that comic book he absolutely despised throughout his younger years- when the otherwise un-athletic Niko somehow begins to climb walls and jump unearthly high- his premature lovesickness becomes the least of his worries. With newfound powers come newfound sides of himself he doesn't know how to unravel, but he's sure that, with the help of his best friend, he has it all figured out.

Until the government decides to chime in and conspires to destroy Niko- or, as they know him, Arachne Boy: the Savior of Wall Street.

OR, "Are you asking me if I jizz webs?"