Doubts 2
  • Reads 15,661
  • Votes 557
  • Parts 16
  • Time 52m
  • Reads 15,661
  • Votes 557
  • Parts 16
  • Time 52m
Ongoing, First published Mar 13, 2019
Part 2 of "Doubts"

It was that same feeling I felt deep inside me the day my grandparents left me. My stomach began to cringe. My throat was in knots. My breathing had gotten hard. My instincts were telling me something just wasn't right. I felt useless and alone... I had always knew pain my whole life but this was next level. That feeling of holding back and regret filled my veins with agony. I was lost in my thoughts. My heart felt colder and colder with every minute that passed by. 

Who am I ? Who am I really ? What is my purpose in this life that I lived? That I once knew ..... why did this bad luck fall upon my life? What did I do to deserve this ? I'm cursed. I have to be. 

I cried so much in that hospital bed that no tears seemed to want to fall anymore. I had no tears left in me to shed. When Akeem left this room, I knew it would be the last time that I would see him. My better half. My Ace. My love. My husband. My life. 

Gone. Forever. 

It wasn't confirmed but I knew it. I just knew it. 

Life fucked me hard. So why not throw it back.
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Dear Adi, I start by asking you to forgive me. I know it's impossible to forgive me this time. I did lie to you. I'm going away forever. I know you will tear down the dam world to find me. Please don't waste your time trying to find me. You have your entire life ahead. Treasure it. Make it so wonderfully that one day when If I dare to come back, you can tell me all about it. I love you. Don't ever have a doubt about my love for you. You are the only man I truly love. Every day I spent with you I loved you more. You are the second best thing that ever happened to me, off course the first is Rishi. The last couple of month with you, were the best. I will cherish until my last breath. Every bit of it. You have thought me how to love selflessly. You have loved me more than half your life and I want you to love me until your last breath. But I want you to find a sweet girl (she better not be better than me). And you better not love anyone as much as you loved me, move on with your life Don't let me die from your heart. Don't make me a burden in your heart. Cherish me in there. As long as I live, I want to be in your heart. I don't care if you fall in love again but I do care about staying in your heart. Don't throw me and I promise I will always love you. I know I'm hurting you terribly, believe me I feel terrible already writing this letter to you. I hope the happy memories subsides the pain in your heart. Always and Forever - Yours and only yours Chandni