Diary of one last summer

Hello, my name is Natalie and this is my diary,
Dear Diary,
I am 16 years old and I decided living life like I never did, enjoying the moment, laughing till it hurts... You see, I never actually treasured the feeling of living. I thought that as long as I am breathing I am alive, right? I mean what else could life mean? Anyway my life was never an interesting one, that kind of dull life where nothing really happens. If I were to die right now I wouldn't be able the say it was worth living. But this summer, the summer of my second year in high school... I decided to make it different. Why? Well I thought 'what if a burglar breaks into my house and kills my parent and even me?' If I were to live, dealing with the pain of losing my parents would be hell and I don't know if I would be strong enough to survive it. But if I were to die, I would regret not living my life. I know I have weird thoughts but with them, the summer of my life started and with them, it also ended.