Coverd in darkness

I hated herself so much.I faked a smile.People don't get how I think. Other people see the sun I see rain or sometimes I don't know what I see. I always knew something was off,not like everybody else. When I see walk down the halls of school I see all the teachers abd students talking about me. When I walk in a classroom my heart beat races,I think everbody is going to harm me. When I hear a sound in the middle of the night I think it is my family coming to kill me. I get so scared wich is weird because I want to be dead half the time. No one gets it,I'm not sure if I get it.