Irreplaceable, Unmistakable

"Look, Ashlynn. You are way more than 'five percent' on my scale. You are one hundred and ten percent and beyond on my scale; you are irreplaceable, unmistakable, Darling, you're beautiful." Joel says, a smile on his face and hand on my shoulder. He d*** well just quoted his own f****** song, and I'm none of that.
"No, no I'm not Joel. I won't ever be good enough for f****** anything, and as much as I appreciate the gesture, you shouldn't be here. You should be in North Carolina, with Luke, giving hope to some other person, because I'm a hopeless cause. My name is Ash, and I am just that, nothing but ashes in the wind and I don't want those ashes in the wind to be blown into your s***** fantasy." I huff, shoving my now choppy hair back from my face, frustrated.
"I just don't see why you think I'm 'so much more,' I mean, Joel, we're in a strip club for goodness' sake. I can't believe you, Joel Smallbone, are here, in a freaking strip club. Boy, Moriah's going to p***** as h***." Joel sighs, looks around, makes accidental eye contact with the girl on stage, blushes, then turns to me. "You shouldn't be here either, Love. And Moriah and Luke know I'm here and won't be peeved as heck."
While he's talking, I pick up the box cutter I had used to cut my hair; my once waist length hair had to be chopped off, after that man found favour in it. I must've dropped it out of my hoodie pocket. "Ash, Ashlynn, Rach, whoever you are, you are beautiful, you are made for so much more than this simple life," Joel pauses, then quietly hums under his breath, starting to sing to me, "you're irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable, Love, you are beautiful, I see it all in you, you are priceless." Suddenly, like a punch in my stomach, I feel guilt. I feel shame. I feel regret. Here's this man living for a God I might consider believing in, and here's this man in the dirtiest strip club in town, for a girl with a house and not a home.
////
for KING & COUNTRY Fanfiction