Dear mom,

When I was a toddler and younger, I was such an angel.
When I grew older, I started to grow horns.
When I entered my early teens, my horns grew bigger.
I started developing attitudes.
As I grew older the attitudes grew bigger.
When I entered my mid teens, the attitudes worsened.
Attitudes led into arguments.
Arguments grew into fights.
Fights grew into screaming matches.
And then on everything worsened over time as I grew older.
Everything has changed.
We have changed.
We don't know each other anymore.
We're strangers to each other now.
You started a new family.
You're happier.
Happier without me.
We still live under the same room, and yet I'm just like a roommate paying for rent.
I'm not apart of that perfect family picture.
I'm simply just the rip in the photo.
You hear my voice.
You look at me like I'm a ghost.
You see me try.
You don't hear my cries.
You hear my voice crack.
You don't see my heart crack.
You see my tears swell.
You don't hear me well.
You look at my direction.
Yet you look right though me.
You see me do chores.
You get your new daughter take them over.
You see me walk to the door.
You slam the door shut in my face.
I hug you.
Yet you're disgusted by my touch.
I tell you about my day.
Yet you cut me off and ask your new daughter about her day.
You see me suffer.
Yet you comfort your new daughter.
I say your name.
Yet you look at me and walk away.
I don't know who we are anymore.
Are you sure I'm your biological daughter?
Are you sure I'm apart of this family?
Do I deserve this?
Maybe.
Do you still love me?
I still love you.
Are you still my mom?
At least I think so.
Am I delusional?
I guess I am.
Am I the cause of your problems?
I'm the cause of everything.
I get all the blame.
Should I feel shamed?
Should I leave or stay?
Either way, you wouldn't notice.
Mom, I'm sorry.
For everything.
I guess it'll be
Better if I
Slowly fade
Away.