D R E A M

This work is a reflection of my thoughts.

My biggest problem right now is derealization/depersonalization disorder.
(DPDR) is mental disorder in which the person has persistent or recurrent feelings of depersonalization or derealization. It is described as feeling disconnected and detached from one's self. - As if your life is a movie and you are floating around in your own world, unattached and disconnected from your body and physical self.

I first started experiencing DPDR when I was 11. It was such a foreign and confusing feeling. I felt as if my entire mentality had been invaded by something I was too young to comprehend. I expected it to be a temporary episode that would be gone before the next day. Well, 7 years later and it's still hitting pretty hard. I've done a lot of research and found that it stems from anxiety and stress. I feel the effects of DPDR 24/7. Not once has it completely subsided.. For years I've ignored it and acted like everything was alright because I knew people were getting tired of listening to me complain about it. I've been to multiple doctors but nothing has really helped.

This is something I have accepted but will never welcome.

I often feel consumed but writing is one of my escapes.