Le Journal Public Du Borderline
- Reads 110
- Votes 1
- Parts 9
Ongoing32m
Last published Fri, Apr 17, 2020
Tu sais, c'est un exercice que mon psy m'a dit de faire lors de l'une de nos séances de thérapie. Mais je me sens maladroit, j'ai toujours peur de mal faire. Je suis seul devant ma feuille, mon écran et pourtant, j'ai quand même l'angoisse de décevoir. C'est stupide, ces mots sont les miens, cette histoire la mienne et toi, celui à qui je me confie. Tu n'a pas de véritable nom, pas de véritable identité, il se peut parfois que je t'utilise pour parler à quelqu'un qui ne lira jamais ces pages, mais c'est pas grave. On va y aller doucement, étape par étape. C'est toujours compliqué de retracer sa propre vie.
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psychose
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
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