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Last published Tue, Apr 23, 2019
I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I'm going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote "you're a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom". I'm now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you've wronged will rise against you.
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The second I saw her my skin heated and heart skipped a beat. I knew I had to know who she was. I knew I just needed to be near her. After my horrible marriage I knew getting involved with anyone was the worst thing I could possibly do. The problem was the girl of my dreams was standing right in-front of me partially guarded. She knew my family and knew about my past which should scare me away, but it doesn't it only draws me closer to her. My brother is getting married, I'm the best man, she's the maid of honor. If I screw this up even a little bit everyone is going to have my ass. The second I saw him my mouth went dry. His sculpted arms in that t-shirt covered in ink, my body was telling me to run the other way, to not get involved with this gorgeous dangerous man with a military past. Those gorgeous blue eyes however pulled me in and saw right through every part of me. He's my best friends soon to be brother-in-law, and I have legal custody of a child that isn't mine. Nobody wants to be with a single mom these days, what makes him any different?
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