I Really Wish I Could Tell You.

• l'appel du vide

-The Call of the Void

that tiny voice that tells you to jerk the steering wheel to the right and take a flying leap off the ledge...that inclination to walk right into the ocean and never return...the call of the Siren song.

it's considered completely normal & if you don't listen to the call it's considered an affirmation of your will to live

-ie: Suicidal Ideation

Mine actually manifests in "I don't want to die, but I don't want to exist either"

~

My name is Audra;

Age: 23

Waking up after an intentional overdose is always the worst feeling. Not only do you feel the anger pumping through your veins because you're still alive, but you feel your entire body yearning for that next fix.

You start feeling the god awful effects of yourself detoxing from whatever drugs you have pumped into your poor body.

As addicts we have two options.

To recover, or to die.

I wasn't always like this. So eager, to die.

You wanna know how my life ended up this way?

It's always been mind blowing to others, how I ended up the way I did. Because my life from the outside looking in, seemed absolutely perfect.

Because how could the girl with the big loud laugh that always made everyone else smile, go home & slit her wrists or reach for any numbing substance to completely drown out her thoughts?

That's because up until this point you've heard everyone's story but my own.