i couldn't live

i couldn't live

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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Jul 10, 2014
my mom had died and shortly after my dad had too and I saw their faces everywhere I look and its like I knew they were dead but my brain wasn't ready to process that information so I saw them like they were still there doing the same thing they always did they yelled at me when I forgot something or acted ridiculously stupid which was always a possibility with me because as a 15 year old child I was prone to making mistakes and at the time I had just wanted to forget the times my dad had yelled at me but now that I wanted to cherish them he is no longer here to do it I mean I still see him everywhere I look but I know he's not there no matter how much I want him to be when I am ready to face up to the fact that they are dead he will probably disappear and I can't let that happen I can't lose him again even if its just in my imagination I still want him there I want him to see my graduation to hold my first born son or daughter all the things I know he will never get to do because of
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I didn't ask to be born into this world, none of us did but we make the best of it. I'm a twenty-five year old single man. Why you may ask? Because I've seen what love can do to a person. It can destroy them. My parent's are amazing but I can still remember the time's my father threatened to kill my mother, left us due to his mental illness. Besides who needs one main women when I can have a different one under me every night, money to blow and fast cars. I'm just enjoying my time until I take my Papes place at the throne. Most nights are spent living it up with my cousins who are my only friends. However there is the one girl that has caught my eye and I don't know why. I first spotted her at a random coffee house I stepped into. Usually I'm very talkative especially when I'm trying to snag a chic but I couldn't utter a word to her. I barely managed to place my order. Now, I find myself going out of my way to stop by that coffee shop everyday. It doesn't matter that it's out of my way. The only thing that matters is that I see her. I knew I could take her if I really wanted to but I can't make myself to do it. She sees me enter and shoots me that amazing smile and prepares my order without even asking what I want, she knows. She'll offer a greeting but all I can do is nod my head. She makes me lose my word's. Deep in my mind I wonder if she could be the one that could change my mind on love and that scares me. For now I'm satisfied at seeing her for the few minutes it takes to get my coffee. Besides I'm a killer, a future mob king and she's this delicate flower that wouldn't understand my world. It's best to cut my loses and move on. If only I knew her name..

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