i couldn't live

my mom had died and shortly after my dad had too and I saw their faces everywhere I look and its like I knew they were dead but my brain wasn't ready to process that information so I saw them like they were still there doing the same thing they always did they yelled at me when I forgot something or acted ridiculously stupid which was always a possibility with me because as a 15 year old child I was prone to making mistakes and at the time I had just wanted to forget the times my dad had yelled at me but now that I wanted to cherish them he is no longer here to do it I mean I still see him everywhere I look but I know he's not there no matter how much I want him to be when I am ready to face up to the fact that they are dead he will probably disappear and I can't let that happen I can't lose him again even if its just in my imagination I still want him there I want him to see my graduation to hold my first born son or daughter all the things I know he will never get to do because of