Why can't we sell the volcano?

Alan stepped back as the entire procession filed in.
Jim, Maria, little Max and Jay at ten and seven respectively, and Bark and Snark, the gryffins.
Bark began making honking noises as he inspected the house.
Snark began chewing on the couch with gusto, Jim trying to pry him off, and Maria began exclaiming over how much Millie had grown.
Meanwhile the kids ran to pet a spooked Pokerface cowering in the corner.
"You... brought the family."

This is not meant to be a realistic portrayal of a volcano btw. I did this for my monthly story challange. The prompt was 'fantasy comedy with lava.' The people I was doing the challange with liked this story.