Alone
- Reads 474
- Votes 4
- Parts 2
Ongoing9m
Last published Fri, May 3, 2019
My name is Freya Angelique Olivarez. I just want to share my story... and why I badly want to end my life. And what drove me to reach this point.
Consider this as a suicide letter. Because I know when I end my life, I'll be leaving a lot of questions. Questions that I would never answer while I'm alive.
You might be thinking, why didn't I ever reach out to anyone. I did. It's just that maybe you're the ones who can't be reached. So I kept everything to myself. Fight all by myself. And I can say that I've been strong enough to survive through all these up until now. But I guess, it's tiring to stay strong when you're the only one fighting against the world. I need a break from all these shits. I want to rest. And finally have peace.
All I needed was one person to be there for me. Just one.
But everyone turned their back and I felt so alone.
So this time I want to end the pain. Just one pain all at once, for the last time... then never again.
This story is a tribute to my old self who hasn't given justice and until now I can still feel her pain. I hope she heals, and finally have peace. It's been 11 years and the trauma still lingers...
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"It's too much to remember everything and everyone, all pain and hurt is killing me day by day little by little. I wish I could remove all the pain and move on in my life. I wish I could find an eraser or Better a delete button, so that I could start from beginning, without any misery or pain." ......................................................................................... "Hey Eva, you know you can trust me, right? " He asked me again cupping my cheeks, I can't let him continue this. It had to stop now or it would be too late. I can't risk everyone's life specially his. If hurting him means, him being alive then I would do it without thinking. Again and again. "Eva are you even listening to me?" Noah asked moving his face closer. From this close I can even see the scar which he told me about, its just below the border line of his hair, it can be easily conceal but from this close its more real. His eyes, they are magical. I would love to look at them all the time and never get tired of looking at in them. No, I cannot do this to him, I can't be selfish, I have to do something this time. "No" I answer and walked away from him. .............................................................
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