Suffocation - emberchan14 - Wattpad

Suffocation

přečtení 7
Hlasy 1
Části 1
Čas 5m

přečtení 7
Hlasy 1
Části 1
Čas 5m

depression sadness suffocation

I suffocate. Not physically, or else I would be dying. But in my mind, I'm suffocating from all of the thoughts that race through my head. On the outside, I'm a quirky, nerdy, happy looking girl. But on the inside I'm dying. Why do I even care to write this crap? Well, because I'm tired of using up my notebook paper and all my graphite in my mechanical pencils. I know. I'm messed up. If you've read my other crappy stories about my life, you know that I'm a mess. But you know what they say sometimes: Sad, depressing things about your life sometimes makes an interesting story. What a lie. Screw it. I'm writing and keeping it up on Wattpad for prying eyes to judge and make fun of. I don't care what you think or say. I'm suffocating, and writing it all out helps my pain slightly go away.Všechna práva vyhrazena

depression sadness suffocation

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Suffocation
pát, kvě 10, 2019

1 část

Suffocation
pát, kvě 10, 2019

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Secret Mind ✓ od sadlyish

"She's right! She's right! I don't cut in the right spot." My hold tightens on my wrist. The red blood oozes out of my wrist. I slide up and grab my bag and run out of the bathroom. I don't care if people can see the blood I just want to get out. I race for the doors and shove through people. I earn a lot of glares and glances that read "weirdo." I ignore and push. I run to my house and lock myself in my bathroom. I don't bother closing the front door cause I don't care if people come in to kill me. I grab my razor and cut deep cuts into my arm and wrists falling into a pool of my own blood. • • • Evangeline has a great life. Friends? Check! Good grades? Check! Loving family? Check! But what if she has secrets that nobody knows of? What if the only thing she can trust is her secret diary? What if slowly but surly she's dying inside? How can an innocent twelve year old deal with these problems? Will she keep on facing these problem till the day she breaks. Her school burns down forcing her into a different school to meet different people and she has to fit into a different lifestyle as well. Meet Evangeline. Now at 17 years of age in a new high school. Not all girls anymore. No uniform. Meet Drake. Your classic bad-boy. He just moved to Saint Abigail high school. He is assigned partners with the quiet, calm, unnoticed Evangeline. As time progresses he finds that she isn't as happy on the inside as she is on the outside. Can he save her? Or is it too late? • • • Some rude language. Depression and cutting. Don't say I didn't warn you. Okay, I wrote this at the start of this year (may 2016) and I had very poor writing skills. This book hasn't been edited and the whole idea is cliche so I wouldn't recommend you read it but I'm not stopping you, either. Read at your own risk. • • • Copyright © 2017 by -moonlust. All rights reserved.

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ od ZaynismRules

***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

Fml od hannah101gal

"Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Are you sad?" "Everything will be okay". Honestly, I'm not okay, what's wrong? Everything! And why am I sad? Because I can't handle anything anymore and NOTHING will be okay. I don't know why I always need to lie to everyone about me, it's not like they could understand anyways. Who's been by my side? Well people obviously, but none of them can know what I think! How I feel! How could they anyways, it's not like my life is a book that people can just read and understand... Who am I? An emotional girl who is exaggerating right now? Haha! NO. I'm actually Anne, and I'm fourteen. I guess that I'm a social teen, always looking happy and approchable. Well not lately...But you'll get to that part at some point. I'm an "average teen" like some people say. Well I honestly don't know. I'm always tired, depressed stressed, but some say that that's normal. Of course because my life isn't complicated at all...Maybe I imagine things? All these years and I've always kept things inside, of course I have friends, but they can't hear my thoughts and know everything in my pathetic life. So that's why I've decided "Well why not write in a diary? Maybe it will help? Or something" I have no idea if it actually helps, but it might...At least it's something I can open up to. To talk about my suicidal thoughts, my depression, my self-harm issues and my eating disorder... On that note.... Bye.... Fml :) Anne

Trash Book of Extra. od BilanMuhidin

Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!

Dear Journal... od SadeScorned

Just an online journal of my personal thoughts . No, I am not suicidal. No, I am not depressed. Just introverted, and I trap feelings in more than I'm supposed to .. So I let them out here.

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy od Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

Bakugo's 5 day deal od ReallyTiredLol

I'm honestly ashamed of this book. I wrote it some time ago and it just has so many things wrong in it and is overall cringe. I am planning to write a different and better version of this in the near future. And hey, maybe you should follow me to see when it comes out ;) !!!STRONG SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING!!! Midoriya was walking home at around 11pm, after picking up some groceries for his mom. He sighed, knowing he would have to wake up early for school tomorrow. He walked on the small bridge, looking at the bright, full moon. It was a beautiful night. He turned his head facing forward, his eyes locking on the body in front of him. "K-Kacchan?" The ash-blonde whipped his head to where the shorter boy stood, piercing red eyes meeting soft dark green ones. There he was. The loud, brash, cocky Katsuki Bakugo, sitting on the concrete wall of the bridge, with his shoes off and wallet out, ready to jump off and end his life at any moment. . . "You know what, lets make a deal."

Moving In od _CallMe_Crazy

Blaze White is the New Girl at the Prep school in her mothers old home town. But her only goal for senior year is to keep a low profile, no friends, no parties and NO boys. Axel may be adored and worshipped by his peer-but he hates people, except 5. So when a beautiful but closed off girl suddenly enters his group. He is not welcoming of the mysterious beauty despite the pull they both feel. •••• WARNING: This was written many moons ago. I have decided to put it back up because of a large request from readers. However, I was a kid when I wrote this so take it with a grain of salt. *** Like a deer in head lights, I freeze and watch as the car comes towards me expecting to get hit. But to my surprise, the car swerves to the side slightly next to me and comes to a stop. I take a deep breath I didn't know I was holding at the driver's side door swings open and a very pissed off Axel steps out. "Thank god," I mumble and place my hands on my knees to catch my breath. "Blaze?" He says and I hate it. I hate how he says my name as if it's his. Like he knows it's the only thing I want to hear, him calling out to me, looking at me, focused to me. It's the first time in my life I wanted someone's attention so badly I didn't care how I got it. And that was too dangerous for me to hold onto. "Are you insane or some shit? I could have killed you!" He says and starts to walk towards me. I take a big breath and step back away from him, "s-stop! Axel," I stutter still panting. It's then he notices the blood on my hands and shirt. "Is that blood?" He asks staring at my shirt and I take another step back. "Stop, stay b-back," I try to say confidently but I can't even breath right. Realizing he won't listen I start to turn around planning to make a break for it. "Don't run from me Blaze it won't go well," he growls reading my thoughts causing me to freeze in my spot. "Do not ever think you can get away from me."

Control Me (book 1) od Gunthenator

"Who's there," I can't breath. I'm always looking over my shoulder ever since- I can't think about the now. I have to run but where, back to Jake? No I can't, everything is different now. He's supposed to be here to protect me, because if the got me... blood smears the pages of the passed. "Sapphire!" I hear him call. "Coal!" I reach out to touch him only for him to be yanked just out of my reach. I hear the wolves in the distance howling at the beautiful moon. I need his touch again. I need to know I'm safe. The only safe place anymore is pressed against him under the sheets. "Coal!" I call out again. ---I can hear her. She's here somewhere I know it. I can smell her sent threw the thick of the woods. "Sapphire!" I call out, but my call is lost in the night. I have to protect her. I have to save one, just one. Maybe that will be enough to clean the blood off my tainted skin. What if they get her? She'll... Change... I look up at the moon, could she not have heard my howls? Of course she did. She always did. I can hear the other wolves in the forest. Soon I too would be engulfed by the beast. Unable to control myself, unable to predict the beasts next move. Only she could tame the beast inside me. Why be afraid of the monster under the bed when you should be afraid of the one lying next to you under the sheets.--- I keep quiet in the deep dark night. Watching her waiting for her to come back to me. I wait for him to slip up just long enough for me to swoop in and take her. It's only a matter of time. I wait for him to turn into that hideous beast. The beast that only comes out in the light of the moon. The beast that feeds of the insentient. I have to find her,to make her perfect, at least that's what they tell me. They tell me she'll be perfect and she will be mine. She will be the beginning of a new ere the ere of the beast. Everyone has secrets. Everyone lies. Everyone cries. Everyone dies. 2 view points, Coal and Sapphire. Mature! All rights reserved! Thank you!

You Were Always a Daydreamer Draft Version od Diiamond0

When you're forced to mask Reality with Fantasy. The lifted layers finally unveil the tombstone of self. The biggest cities into the tiniest pebbles The massive ideas and thoughts formed into merely something to fear. A protagonist who already forgot his name Remembers He is a Daydreamer. Which is the only way to cope with life after multiple tragedies. And the fraud on fake friends faces. Only to daydream. As losing touch takes a toll on that rotting indulgence slowly. This get's quite horrific as it goes on. It's not to enjoy but to reflect on and experience. I decided to publish the draft version, because I don't think I can fully finish YWAADD final edition any time soon. I am in the worst mental and emotional state ever. It's quite a struggle and I suffer heavily. So yeah, the polished draft kind of holds up aswell too. The final one is way longer and eventful. So, um yeah I don't expect this to get attention at all, it's kind of really mid in some parts. But enjoy, or don't I guess. Yes this was inspired by Everywhere At The End Of Time. And other fan projects.

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Slide 1 of 10

Secret Mind ✓ cover

Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️ cover

Trash Book of Extra. cover

Dear Journal... cover

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy cover

Bakugo's 5 day deal cover

Moving In cover

Control Me (book 1) cover

You Were Always a Daydreamer Draft Version cover

Secret Mind ✓

"She's right! She's right! I don't cut in the right spot." My hold tightens on my wrist. The red blood oozes out of my wrist. I slide up and grab my bag and run out of the bathroom. I don't care if people can see the blood I just want to get out. I race for the doors and shove through people. I earn a lot of glares and glances that read "weirdo." I ignore and push. I run to my house and lock myself in my bathroom. I don't bother closing the front door cause I don't care if people come in to kill me. I grab my razor and cut deep cuts into my arm and wrists falling into a pool of my own blood. • • • Evangeline has a great life. Friends? Check! Good grades? Check! Loving family? Check! But what if she has secrets that nobody knows of? What if the only thing she can trust is her secret diary? What if slowly but surly she's dying inside? How can an innocent twelve year old deal with these problems? Will she keep on facing these problem till the day she breaks. Her school burns down forcing her into a different school to meet different people and she has to fit into a different lifestyle as well. Meet Evangeline. Now at 17 years of age in a new high school. Not all girls anymore. No uniform. Meet Drake. Your classic bad-boy. He just moved to Saint Abigail high school. He is assigned partners with the quiet, calm, unnoticed Evangeline. As time progresses he finds that she isn't as happy on the inside as she is on the outside. Can he save her? Or is it too late? • • • Some rude language. Depression and cutting. Don't say I didn't warn you. Okay, I wrote this at the start of this year (may 2016) and I had very poor writing skills. This book hasn't been edited and the whole idea is cliche so I wouldn't recommend you read it but I'm not stopping you, either. Read at your own risk. • • • Copyright © 2017 by -moonlust. All rights reserved.

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