Nothing I could've done
- LECTURES 4
- Votes 0
- Chapitres 1
I wish things were better in life.I always thought it was my fault.I had depression for a year but I realized that it. really wasn't my fault.It was just fate.
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poetry
trigger warning. dont expect you to read this, words are simply that. just words. but if you do i hope you enjoy 👍 and if you relate to any of these, im so sorry. (all of these are original and written by me unless its said otherwise) might also include random rambles and/or thoughts or maybe even quotes (sorry again abt this)
Things Not Seen Are Felt
Is it fate or coincidence? They say you should never trust people on the internet but as for me, it is where I found someone I never expected that I would meet.Terminé
𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+
Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸
New Normal
I learnt the hard way that wanting to be normal is just wishful thinking. More specifically when I found out who my dad really was. Then again, having a child while I was still a kid myself already sealed the deal on being anything but normal. But I was happy, for a moment. Until I was introduced to an entirely new world or worlds that I wish I wasnt apart of but now its impossible to avoid.
Pain is Forgiveness
'....He isn't home again...why...? Doesn't he know I need him...? I mean...yeah I...did all those things...b-but that was during the moment...I-I thought they were...but they're not...they just wanted to Fuck...not...keep me warm...not help me at my lowest...but...he did...and...I need it...I need him...why isn't he here with me...? why did I waste my time with those useless fuckers than my Darling...? why did I...maybe he got lost...I'll look for him...then we can talk...and I'll fix what I broke...huh...? His door's open...wait... A girl, who swings both sides and ignores her heart A boy, Loyal and caring, love strong for his other...until she crossed the line... one saved by the other...racked with guilt and desperation, wants her 'Darling'...but... she chose to do this... (I got the Idea from someone who recommended me this, You know who you are so make yourself known, Credit to that individual for helping my stuck brain, but I'll add my own twist)
Tough Love (Completed)
"Will be there in 20?" The message from Dean reads. My brain says I should text back saying 'I will rip your balls off if you come over' or 'I am not a sex toy, you could come over and use me as and when you please' or at least a simple 'No'. But I don't. I squat next to my bed and pull out the white powder to numb the pain. I told myself that I am done with Dean and I am going to get my life back together. I cleaned up, battled withdrawals and even improved my grades. One text from him and I am snorting coke. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let Dean treat me like trash? Why do I set myself up knowing that it's only a matter of time before he will run back to Sherley leaving me in limbo? Why? l have asked myself the same question a million times but I couldn't come up with an answer that I can use to justify myself. When it came to Dean, I was a masochist. I let him use me and discard me without any fight. Dean was my first Friend. Kiss. Sex. Love. Everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I was his first Friend. Kiss and Sex but Love.. that was Sherley. His family chauffeur's daughter. I want to be a better human and say I didn't hate her. But I am not. I am just human and I hate her with the ferocious of a thousand sun. I hate that she plays him like a fiddle and he dances to it. I hate that they fight for silly reasons and Dean comes running to me. I hate that I let him in even when I know she will reel him back in no time. I hate that he is my weakness and Sherley is his. I wished that my best friend would turn to be my lover. But he just ripped my heart out. It time to let go and move on.Terminé
Abusive
Anyone who's sensitive or uncomfortable about Violence, then please don't read this.. cause it's triggering English is not my first language, forgive me for the mistakes
You Stole My Heart
He took wild steps towards her..pushing her fragile body on the walls and forcing his lips on her.... He was kissing her hungrily...his cold heart was not allowing her tears to melt him...he bitted her lip....she yelled in pain.. hitting his chest with her tiny hands... He left her due to lack of breath...he started giving wet kisses on her neck... Move...she pushed her forcefully... Please move... You promised that you will give me space until I feel comfortable with you.... Then why..???? She said sobbing between her hiccups... hugging her knees... I am your husband damn it I have the right to kiss you.... I waited for 6 months ..why you are punishing me...you have married me with your will then why....what's stopping you??? Can't you see my love for you in my eyes.. Answer me...he yelled gripping her shoulders... searching for an answer in her eyes... You are not the person who stole my heart..she said falling on the ground crying... But you are the person who stole my heart..he said in a broken toneTerminé
~Trust Me ~
"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reservedTerminé
Jesse's Redemption (manxman /werewolf || #lgbt)
Sequel to Want You Back. ******** For every action, there's a reaction. Too bad Jesse learned the hard way. His actions, his careless words, took something precious from his family. Broke his family. Is there any way to redeem himself? He doesn't believe so. But he does everything he possibly can to make up for what he's done. **** Being Eric Moore Hardcore Pornstar. That was easy. I knew what was expected of me. Then everything changed. Changes, things I don't understand. Questions I couldn't answer. Then there's Jesse. My mate. But how can I be a mate when I don't have a wolf. I mean I'm not sure if I did. Why don't I have a connection like everyone else. I wish everyone would forget I did the special things. It's not like I liked it. I just didn't want to be punished. I wish I wasn't a kid trapped in a grown up's body. I wish Jesse would love me. I wish he didn't hate himself. Wishes upon wishes. Will they ever come true?Terminé
trigger warning. dont expect you to read this, words are simply that. just words. but if you do i hope you enjoy 👍 and if you relate to any of these, im so sorry. (all of these are original and written by me unless its said otherwise) might also include random rambles and/or thoughts or maybe even quotes (sorry again abt this)
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