*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

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(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~

OUT NOW! Life is quiet, till it isn't. Change is abrupt and has the tendency of appearing quickly and overwhelmingly. So what else are you supposed to do, rather than detach yourself, just to survive with the change? My life was planned. I had it all written in stone and had accepted what my life would become. I never wanted a life that was very adventurous or challenging. I wanted it to all be as mundane as possible. All of this change has to slow down because I'm not sure how much of it I can handle. I was expecting to live a beige life; nothing exciting or daring, the days would be all the same till they all blended into the other, I would work a desk job and marry a man who would lie and say that he wasn't sexist but then would use microaggressions constantly and who wouldn't understand the word 'no', the normal things in life. That's what I had been prepared for. Though it sure as hell wasn't what I got.

Being young while living wild seems so easy...especially when you meet your incredibly fine neighbor who you find hard to resist. Every things was all peaches and cream until the drama starts and things suddenly get hot between you two. Will you be able to handle all the things that come with him ? Will you be able to resist him ? Most importantly, will you be able to have him ?😈

***MATURE WARNING*** "The hunger is good. You had too many calories already. You're already fat." "They'll love you even more when you're skinny. You'll be their perfect little angel when you're nice and pretty." "Lilly, I heard you puking up the cupcake in the bathroom, and then you whispered, 'So many calories,'" "Red everywhere, just washed away by the shower drain." "She starts shaking and jerking around, making noises like she's gasping for air." This is Lilly Ketchman's life. Eating disorders affect 9% of America. Anorexia affects 0.5% of the female population in the U.S. Bulimia affects 1.5% of the female population in America. But in that 1.5%, you don't expect a 7-year-old who just wants to be a dance star. Lilliana Ketchman goes by Lilly. Please call her Lilly. Lilliana is too painful for her. Lilliana is what the eating disorder calls her. She seems to be a happy-go-lucky kid. The kid that puts a smile on anybody's face and lights up the whole room. But she can never put a real smile on her own face or make herself happy. She's beautiful, but she doesn't believe it. Because Ms. Abby never lies. Bulimia. How the hell does a 7-year-old figure out how to make themself throw up and understand that that can make them skinny? It doesn't matter. Bulimia takes over her life for two years. Two whole years she withered away. Until her mother forces her to the hospital. She used to be in this big black vortex of pain and suffering, but she's stronger. She got help and recovered. And now, she's back two years later at the Abby Lee Dance Company to dance again. But will Lilly stay strong when Ms. Abby starts commenting the same stuff to her? Will she fall back into the same patterns, or worse, create even deadlier patterns?

"I fell into darkness but I didn't mind, I liked it." Amy Adams thought everything was alright, but when she heard her very best friend Rose committed suicide, her world turned upside down. Amy couldn't understand, why? But Amy found Rose's diary at her wake and everything became clear. Rose was anorexic. Rose wrote about her two guardians Ana and Mia, they helped her, or something. Amy didn't understand a thing, but not for long. Because Amy would also meet her fate with the two angels of death. Just like Rose. Amy has a hard time fitting in after her only connection to a social life left her alone. Amy get's lost and tries to save herself. But how can you pull yourself out of a hole where you can't see the edge? Amy does make new friends and she even falls in love but everything is on the verge of falling apart. How does she plan on keeping her 'new habit' a secret? and when will Amy really understand?

1st Place Award in Christian Writing Contests 6/2020. After being anorexic and bulimic as a teenager, I saw the light. Later on I became a certified fitness trainer. Since then I've been managing my weight for decades. "Lose Weight For Good" is not a diet-it's a lifestyle. However, if you honestly follow these guidelines, "You'll get fit while others get fed!" I share my own personal story of how I overcame eating disorders. Then I give you motivational tips, fun homework and proper way to lose weight and keep it off for the rest of your life! *I must share this disclaimer. I am not a physician, please see yours before starting any weight-loss regimen. (I borrowed photos on line. This book is free! If you want me to take down a photo-have proof it's yours no problems. Or if you just want credit show me the proof and I am happy to give the credit!)