Starship Erks - Ben Safta - Wattpad

Starship Erks

Reads 31
Votes 4
Parts 9
Time 53m

Reads 31
Votes 4
Parts 9
Time 53m

aliens automation comedy philosophy satire sciencefiction socialcommentary spaceship streetphilosophy underclass wattys2019

Mopping the corridors of an inter-species starship, ageing aliens Sredeer and Kynis must survive the repercussions of a host of science fiction tropes kindled by their shipmates, without the ability to solve any of them.

While each episode is stand-alone, exploring parallel universes, time travel, exobiological outbreaks, mystical artefacts, and telekinetic aliens in new ways (or old ways, I'm not fussy), the series as a whole tests our heroes in overcoming their largest threat of all: a cute auto-cleaning robot, capable of usurping their job.


Praise for Spaceship Erks:
"The best thing I've read since the last best thing I've read!"
-- Someone, somewhere

"What's an erk?"
-- Anon

"erttrsdgrthdgs dgs sfaedwq rfqa"
-- Intoxicated catAll Rights Reserved

aliens automation comedy philosophy satire sciencefiction socialcommentary spaceship streetphilosophy underclass wattys2019

Table of contents

9 parts

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An Orbiting Dilemma: excerpt by WereWorth

This is a book which I have fully written and published. You can find and buy the volume at any big retail store. Amazon, Barnes and Noble. Link provided! Tap it or copy and paste it into a browser. An Orbiting Dilemma https://a.co/d/17TmePQ This is only a sample of my full book for your enjoyment! In a universe far far away from our own a young human couple on a moon planet are thrust into some pretty dire circumstances. A dangerous mercenary heavily armed old boyfriend, a wacky mad scientist, a murderous and almost catastrophically dangerous biological weapon come into play into the lives of our young couple when they only wish to have a nice fun filled date day starting with an earlier picnic brunch date. Which gets interrupted by the before mentioned mercenary old boyfriend. What further hi-jinks will ensue? Read on and find out!

The Best Laid Plans of Vegetation and Cybernetic Beings by KarinaLFabian

If you love Star Trek and parodies... If the Orville and Galaxy Quest give you as much joy as Wrath of Khan... If you believe (as Tumblr users do) that humans will rule the galaxy because we are the only species crazy enough to tie two warp cores together, reverse the polarity and toss them into a star just to see what will happen... then this is the book for you. These are the voyages of the HMB Impulsive. This episode: The HMB Impulsive has a routine diplomatic mission - to assist two warring planets to achieve peace through marriage by ferrying the prince to his wedding. But when the prince falls for the ship's sexy (yes, that's her title), and the Cybers attack, it's far from routine. Can the crew of the Impulsive apply human hold-my-beer ingenuity to save the day and the wedding? (This story is found in my collection, Space Traipse: Hold My Beer, Season 1, on Amazon)

Your Protector ✓ by softsloth

"He's not a monster! Elik is my mate. The holder of my heart. He's a protector. He's my protector." ◍ ◎ ◍ ◎ ◍ ◎ ◍ ◎ ◍ ◎ ◍ ◎ ◍ ◎ ◍ ◎ Penelope thought her life was over when she was taken. The abuse lasted months, and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. That is until Elik came along, and ripped the door off of her cage. Literally. She knows he's different from her kind. He's not human. In fact, he's a 7ft tall muscular alien, and his kind have deemed him unworthy of taking care of a mate. Penelope knows different. She feels safe around him, despite his rugged appearance, and his deadly family history. Elik doesn't know what to think about the tiny female that is determined to stay glued to his hip. All he knows is that he will protect her no matter what, and he's determined to keep her. Even if it means snapping a few necks. [ book 2 of the Rytarian mates series. can be read as a stand alone novel ] *Rankings* #1 in safe - 3/14/20 #8 in Alien - 5/10/20 #4 in Rescue - 5/6/20 #5 in Abandoned - 5/6/20 #10 in Aliens - 3/18/20 #9 in Warrior - 5/10/20

The Final Test by jayseejewel

Earth was overtaken by the Calumnia ten years ago and if it weren't for the alien Occisio race who saved the remnants of humanity, Indi's race would have gone extinct. Now, at the age of sixteen, Indi and the other surviving children are about to complete their training and return to Earth to kill the monster that destroyed their world and killed their parents. However, the children on the Occisio's spaceship have been dismissed one by one in training tests and only a few of them remain. Will Indi prove himself skilled enough to become a soldier? Or will he fail humanity as his parents did? This short story (in 13 parts) is a love letter to fans of Ender's Game and Maze Runner. (I may eventually turn this into a novel but for now, I hope you enjoy this 10,000 word story about hope and overcoming one's weakness.) [This story will appear on other websites as well, such as Royal Road.] #43 IN POST-APOCALYPTIC

Endless tournament by denelbek20

In a distant corner of the universe lies the Flat Planet, a mysterious world where the strongest, smartest, and most resilient from countless species across the galaxy gather for the ultimate test-a high-stakes, intergalactic tournament. When humanity is forcefully dragged into this competition, they are pitted against physically superior alien species, each with unique abilities far beyond their own. But raw power isn't the only key to victory. Strategy, intelligence, and the human spirit will prove just as important. Our story follows Aasir and a group of other handpicked human participants-some desperate to return home, others driven by the thrill of competition-as they navigate a series of increasingly dangerous and unpredictable rounds. From intense physical matches to complex mind games, the humans are constantly tested. Along the way, they uncover the hidden dangers of the tournament: non-participating creatures native to the Flat Planet guard valuable power-ups, resources, and even their very survival. As the tournament progresses, the heroes not only face formidable alien opponents but must also contend with the planet's own hostile environment and inhabitants. With billions watching their every move from Earth, alliances will form, rivalries will grow, and the true nature of the Flat Planet Tournament will be revealed. In this cosmic battle, can humanity overcome the odds and prove that heart and intellect are as powerful as any alien strength? Or will they become yet another species lost to the galaxy's most dangerous game?

Dip$h!+s in space: Season 2 by AdrianOzryth

The Crew of the SS Tast-E-Chill are back, probably because they never left to begin with. The same level of random stupidity has continued beyond and into darkness, in this moderately anticipated squeal of the ongoing series that thinks it's a TV show, that has been crammed into book form. Joint the Captain and most of his crew, including a brand new pair of strange characters, one of which is actually plot-important. Everything you surely liked about the first season only, um, sequal-y-er, because clearly you are clicking the second installation, and therefore have low standards on jokes. Hop aboard and look for a seat-belt as you dive head-first into another layer of the same dips, doing different $h!+s, and still in space. This sucker has everything, a shiny new ship, new enemies, new worlds to explore and a brand new compact format of fewer episodes than you may expect, shortened for convenience and definitely not because my clumsy @$$ deleted like 5 episodes well after starting season 3. That didn't happen at all. Season 3 has a frigging buttload of episodes, so it evens out. Just...bear with me people. you should expect this by now, you read the first season, you know how half-@$$ed this is. There is nothing professional here. if you didnt read season 1, then what the crap are you doing here starting on season 2? That's just dumb. That's on you and i claim no responsibility for the results. Ugh, that's enough intro. I'mma get a coffee. Nobody reads these things anyway, i can say whatever i want. Bla Bla, filer filler, cinnamon-toast. See? You didnt read it.

Dipshits in Space: Season 8 by AdrianOzryth

Holy fart, it just keeps going. It's like some never ending madness of comical dipshittity gone horribly awry. You know what would make this even crazier?...2 Gregs, a full crew body swap, an expected crew death, a final dream-machine spiral to end all dream machine spirals, a gay cruise, a literal witch-hunt involving eggs and a grown-woman who think she's a cat. If that's not enough, we got a show within a show, disguised as another show, a psychic granny that someone is going to fall in love with, and it's not who you think. More game shows, and someone is about to blow the lid off some Myths and nobody is going to need rescued next season or anything.

FREELANCER. BOOK ONE of the FREELANCER SERIES by JAJordan7221

Back in the late 1990's a great PC game came out called FREELANCER. It was an open galaxy adventure space game that had a good storyline. I spent untold hours flying through space in this game and I always thought it was ripe for a spinoff side story but I never pursued it. Nearly 30 years later I discovered a website called GOOD OLD GAMES where you could find and download many great games of yore. There I found FREELANCER. So I climbed back into the cockpit of a starfighter after so long and have enjoyed it even more than I did way back when. Once again the possibility of a side story presented itself and this time I have risen to the challenge. I have always been an avid reader of SCI-FI and I will be the first to tell you that I have blatantly used ideas from other sci-fi works in my story. I have also used names of real people and places to flesh out my narrative. And as a warning for those offended by sexual content, I have included some pretty erotic sexual segments in my story, so you may want to close your eyes as you read those parts. If you have ever enjoyed playing the FREELANCER PC game, you may enjoy my story. Let me know. As a side note to the story: In the story there is a space station named Lajes. In the following books I have changed the name from Lajes to Freeport Seven. Sorry if it causes any confusion.

Reality(1 in series) ~Completed~ by GabbyLyn07

My father left me and my mother when I was nine. When I was twelve, he came back for me, and caused destruction in his wake. Little did I know what waited for me on the other side of the galaxy, but boy did reality hit me hard. ~~~ Jaylee used to be a normal human girl. A regular, book loving, music singing, lovable human girl. Until she was taken back to Artoul when she was twelve, the planet her father hailed from. A planet she would grow to hate. Now, at the age of twenty, her father is expecting to use her for his own advantages. ~~~ Two planets over, Tethra is having issues it's rulers are not even aware of. What happens when these two things collide, and Jaylee is thrown into it? Highest ranking: #1 in the Science-Fiction category Beautiful cover by: AmeliaVampire12 ~~~~ Book #1 in series. (Stand alone books, don't need to be read in certain order)

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Slide 1 of 9

An Orbiting Dilemma: excerpt cover

The Best Laid Plans of Vegetation and Cybernetic Beings cover

Your Protector ✓ cover

The Final Test cover

Endless tournament cover

Dip$h!+s in space: Season 2 cover

Dipshits in Space: Season 8 cover

FREELANCER. BOOK ONE of the FREELANCER SERIES cover

Reality(1 in series) ~Completed~ cover

An Orbiting Dilemma: excerpt

This is a book which I have fully written and published. You can find and buy the volume at any big retail store. Amazon, Barnes and Noble. Link provided! Tap it or copy and paste it into a browser. An Orbiting Dilemma https://a.co/d/17TmePQ This is only a sample of my full book for your enjoyment! In a universe far far away from our own a young human couple on a moon planet are thrust into some pretty dire circumstances. A dangerous mercenary heavily armed old boyfriend, a wacky mad scientist, a murderous and almost catastrophically dangerous biological weapon come into play into the lives of our young couple when they only wish to have a nice fun filled date day starting with an earlier picnic brunch date. Which gets interrupted by the before mentioned mercenary old boyfriend. What further hi-jinks will ensue? Read on and find out!