bipolar memoir
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- Parts 13
Ongoing43m
Last published Sat, May 25, 2019
This is a story of loss, love, struggles, and mental illness. I'm telling the whole honest truth about the things I love and lost. This is to help me cope and have an understanding of my journey while having it on paper. I'm trying to document every truth in my life so I will never forget. Here are multiple writings about my life all put together in a jumbled mess. I would be ashamed but to be honest this is who I am. I am bipolar disorganized artist girl from a small town in southwest Arkansas.
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#759
grief
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Fix Me, I'm Broken
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®Complete
Pieces of Me.
Hi there, how are you? I hope you're okay. Like the title says, this book is made of pieces of me, sort of like a diary. Each chapter has its topic, message and feeling. I write it as my life goes on, pouring my heart out, mentioning a lot of the past and situations I haven't overcome, voicing my struggles, wins and losses, lessons and pain. I hope this helps you somehow, I mean, if I'm gonna be posting my life anonymously on the internet I can try at least to help someone. Never forget, you are not alone. This is for you. Good luck :) *trigger warning*- please if you get triggered easily or are going through a hard situation don't read this book, specially the chapters: Puppy thoughts. The Need. -Sequel: Head High (on my profile)Complete
If I Try (Lesbian Story)
My life in ruins, this is where I'm at currently. I was living a lie, lying to people and most importantly to myself. You can act straight all you want, you can try to convince yourself that, but no matter how hard you try. The truth is always revealed. What did I do? I stroked her face, and told her she was still beautiful, then I bent down and kissed her. One of those soft, yet deep, gut wrenching, I'll always love you, but I have to let you go, goodbye kisses. Then I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes. I saw the past that we had, all of the memories we had together, I took them in, I felt the feelings again, I processed them. Then I saw the dreams that we dreamed for our future, I saw all of our plans that we made, I felt them, I felt the pain of what would never be, and then I released it all. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt her hand graze over the tears. I opened my eyes, blinked away the tears I had left, and smiled. She returned my smile. We knew at that point that no matter what happened, we would be ok.............. This is my struggle, this is my journey. Join me for the ride, but make sure you wear your helmet.Complete
𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 ✓
╰┈➤ ❝ [I stood there in unequivocal revelation, the lagging pain slowly catching up with me, but before I could release a fraction of the pain into my screaming, a bell rang, and suddenly, pilfered from my body was the ability to move. My face neutral and my muscles disabled as I fell face-first into the hard, scathing rock that lay unmoved before me.] 》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ * 。° 。 • ˚《 Imagine awakening in an environment you deemed unfamiliar, your back thrumming in pain, with your mind staying clear of how you ended up there or simply the moments that lead to your position. You try to find a way out and later realize that you can't even remember who you are; your memories purged, your identity unknown. It takes you a good amount of time, pain, and effort, and eventually you manage to gather tiny fragments of who you were along with the trauma of how you retrieved it, but it's okay, maybe it's all worth it as you finally make contact with another person. Turns out she was your best friend. Finally, it looks like all is turning up until you learn of all the inhumane things you've done in your past, things that evade your newfound morals, things that were so detrimental to society that when you hear the reason as to why you've been enduring such agony, you understand why. How many people did you even end up hurting? What did you do that was so bad, that it made millions wish the absolute worst of you? What will you do now?Complete
TOXIC REWIND
"We were never meant to last... but we couldn't stay away." They met in high school-young, reckless, and hopelessly in love. When it all fell apart, they thought that was the end. But some love stories refuse to stay buried. When they find their way back to each other, it isn't the fairytale they once dreamed of. Love turns toxic, passion turns destructive, and together, they become the worst versions of themselves. How far will they go before they finally break for good? Or is this the kind of love that never really dies, no matter how much it burns?Complete
Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy
The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.Complete
Can I Say Goodbye?
I'm always searching for something worth staying for but I can't seem to find that until then please don't mind me because I'm just a traveler passing through. When I'm not satisfied or happy I'll leave and find a new path, so just let me say goodbye... Can I say goodbye? I wrote till my hands bruised and heart bled. I wrote and wrote in hopes that some day, somebody will understand my words and all the things I wish I could say... Each poem is a story. My story. Some are fictional but most of them are true. I know you're curious. From painful heart breaks to high school stories. A person dealing with mental illnesses, fears and abuse. Won't you like to know about the drama?Complete
Her Breaking Point
He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.Complete
Seeking SOMNUS
"As I lost everyone, I didn't want to go through this, I've learned in this thick and thin that no matter what I go through I will have to put myself first, not because it's what I solemnly want but it is what I need in my rest of my journey." ____________________________________ This is going to be a story based on someone's dream. Which is really beautiful to have as an experience. Please read and do share your comments and thoughts with me. You can actually vote too, there's nothing harm in that. *Warning* - little abusive language. Give it a little try and enjoy the perks. Love you all. ~maniComplete
Tumor Love
Sometimes life don't go the way we planned. Sometimes we end up feeling so low, and alone. Like we're in a dark hole with no one around us, but then suddenly there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And I guess what I'm trying to say is.. You're my light, the one who helped me through the worst time in my life - And for that, I am thankful. I'm thankful that I met you, but I also hate you. I hate what you did to me, because you made me fall in love.. And then my world fell apart once again. [WARNING!! Contains mature themes, and languageComplete
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®
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