Gone forever...

The night my dad got the call, I couldn't stop crying and at one point the night, I was still crying, but there were no tears left. Then, I felt like the world was against me and it felt like my whole world fell apart in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it. So, I didn't feel like doing anything but crying, yelling, and being mad at myself. I got so used to feeling mad at myself and couldn't tell if I was okay or not because I wouldn't let myself think a good thought or think positive about anything. I got so mad at myself that when I was in Prince Albert, I refused to leave the bed. I got an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety and I wouldn't get help with anything. I couldn't believe she was gone and I wouldn't believe it.