Criticize my writing.

Criticize my writing.

Reads 26
Votes 1
Parts 1

Ongoing<5 mins

Last published Mon, May 27, 2019

essays hw improvement requests writingchallenge

Criticize my work. I want to improve as an author, so please tell me what I'm doing wrong. Thanks

All Rights Reserved

Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.

You may also like

i accidentally met dream
Next person after next, waiting for my shift to end. I call the next person in line over to me and start with my normal greeting as well as "do you have rewards?" His voice was familiar, but I couldn't quite pinpoint it. -------------- dream x reader (she/her, fem!) reader's pov at all times unless specified otherwise spotify playlist based on this book: (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Kp0kUO9HDkGd2k0458bsP?si=YMTxOCmAQGqtdyhrtPf4YQ&utm_source=copy-link)
Complete
Dreyma Part 1 Enter the Dream (Sample)
This is a sample of my story I am trying to get published. I won't post the complete story only the prologue and two chapters. I appreciate criticism.
Complete
𝒫𝓇ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝒴ℴ𝓊𝓇𝓈ℯ𝓁𝒻 || 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚞𝚜 𝚂𝚗𝚊𝚙𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 || 𝔹𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝟙 ||
✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷ "I'm not sure how I can go on any longer Severus. I don't know how to just see you as a friend." "You have to Y/N. There's no other option. No matter how badly we want it." ✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷ A story of how Severus and Y/N became friends, coworkers, and possibly something more. **story starts off with younger Y/N and Severus, then leads to where the books start, and goes through the first 4 books of Harry Potter!** VERY SLOW BURN ⚠️TW - suicidal thoughts - self harm - abuse - sexual assault - mature content - smut (Please be kind!! This is my very first story I have written and I want to make sure that it's enjoyable and goes according to timeline❤️) ❗️I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS - ONLY Y/N AND PARENTS❗️ (I do plan on writing another book about the remaining of the story to cover the entire Harry Potter series, starting off where this one will end at the end of Goblet of Fire) Enjoy my little dungeon bats!!!!🤍🦇 REVIEWS ☎️ "OMG, THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD❤️❤️❤️❤️" - @MaduTiet "Yes I enjoyed THIS WAS MY FAV BOOK EEVRRRRRRRR AND I WILL BE WAITING PATIENTLY FOR THE NEXT ONE AND IM SURE ITLL BE AWESOMEEEEE" - @canyonstarss 🏆RANKINGS 🥇#readerxsnape 🥇#alanrickman 🥇#potionmaster 🥇#snapexreader 🥇#proveyourself 🥉#hogwartsprofessor ☝🏼word count : 121,513☝🏼
Complete
DONT READ THIS
STOP READING THIS ITS NOT GOOD, THE PLOT HOLES MAKE ME CRY EVERY NIGHT STOP THERES A REWRITE UP, READ THAT INSTEAD Ew kill this wtf did I write🤠 old title: Of course I have problems. I'm human, aren't I? {head cannons are present} {most characters aren't mine} {angst, fluff, and gay warning} {short chapters} {shoutout to my friend who is my beta reader}
Complete
Mfm→Selever
OMG PLEASE DONT READ THIS I BEG YOU PLEASE DON FKINCIG READ THIS😭😭😭😭 °°When a mix n matched demon fuckboy fucks around with your life (and with you)♪ ↓ °° Credits to images I used in the front cover(I edited it myself!! °°Ya already know the basics....♪♪♪ →Y/N=Name →E/C=Eye color →H/C=Hair color °°Some more things.. →F/(whatever I'll use it for)=Favorite...... →S/F(what the hell ever this will be used for)= Second favortie... °°Btw this s my first book lol °°All you simps come over and read this shit °°Enjoy this Bs....
Complete
"My Little Monster~"|| Selever X Reader [DISCONTINUED]
Hello! This is my first book so there will probably be some Errors but i'll try my best to fix it. Also English is not my native language so pardon my bad grammar😅😅😅 . Anyway here are some keywords: (Y/N) = Your Name (L/N) = Last Name (H/C) = Hair Colour (H/L) = Hair Length (F/C) = Favourite Colour (S/F/C) = Second Favourite Colour (F/F) = Favorite Food (F/D) = Favourite Drink (F/S) =Favourite Sweet (B/N) = Brother's Name (M/N) = Mother's Name (F/N) = Father's Name __________________________________________________________________________________ You're on college btw and (Y/N) is female. here's a peek at my book. _________________________________________It was a sunday morning and you were making lunch for you and you're roommates. Suddenly you got a call from the headmaster saying that you and your roommates would be having a new roommate and that they would be arriving after lunch. ~Time Skip~ You were playing video games on the couch when you heard a knock on the door. You were confused on why there were knocking on the door because it was Sunday and most of the students were out doing god knows what. Then you suddenly remembered that the headmaster told you that you were having a new roommate today. You opened the door and you see a cute half human half demon boy. "Oh! You must be our new roommate. Nice to meet you, My name's (Y/N) (L/N)." You introduced yourself. "Sup cutie. The names Selever nice to meet you." ............... That's all folks! If you want more of this story, I suggest you read this book. Edit: Just a fair warning. Some chapters may have been jumbled Because of an error so please check the chapters before you read them please.
Complete
Lightkeeper (H!Jestar x Reader)
I wanna make a super dramatic description like all books but I have no fucking idea what to put so Merp
Complete
The King's Queen (Nightmare Sans x Reader)
PLEASE READ BEFORE GETTING INTO THE STORY Description: Your name is (Y/n) and you are originally from an au called Dreamtale! Your life hadn't been the easiest however, but you were quick to always move forward despite this... Before Nightmare had become corrupted, you were his best friend and lover. You kept him from his breaking point, you maintained his sanity and most importantly... returned his love. One thing that is definitely important about yourself is that you are a selective mute... And your only desired partner for conversation is the King of Negativity himself... But what will happen once the true evil lurking within your lover drowns out whatever light he had left? What will happen when you discover that the Nightmare you knew was replaced by a monster that still somehow holds love for you? "And even with the evil finally in control of Nightmare, if both his sinister side and his old self agreed on something- then it would always be his priority... They both love her." This is practically my first story that I have ever decided to share online. It is quite a terrifying experience for me, so I hope that anyone who decides to read this will enjoy it. Anyway, I should probably inform my readers about a few things. First off, my primary language is not English, however, I will still be making an effort with my grammar! Second off, I will try and update this as frequently as possible... Even though I can get somewhat shy or concerned about how my work goes. Otherwise, all you will need to know is this: (Y/n): Your name (F/n): Friend name (E/c): Eye color (H/l): Hair Length (H/c): Hair color (S/c): Skin color (F/c): Favorite color Some things I will likely determine for the reader, but what is posted above will be the basics. Please also note that this story may contain some content that would be best for more mature audiences. Also, the cover image belongs to me, please do not use it without permission or steal it.
Complete
true love
I'm bad at descriptions? no longer writing in this book!!!! may edit idk
Complete

i accidentally met dream

Next person after next, waiting for my shift to end. I call the next person in line over to me and start with my normal greeting as well as "do you have rewards?" His voice was familiar, but I couldn't quite pinpoint it. -------------- dream x reader (she/her, fem!) reader's pov at all times unless specified otherwise spotify playlist based on this book: (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Kp0kUO9HDkGd2k0458bsP?si=YMTxOCmAQGqtdyhrtPf4YQ&utm_source=copy-link)

Content Guidelines