Another Vampire Story

Chicks nowadays are insane. I mean, ever since the whole vamire/werewolf phenomenon, the world just hasn't made any sense! I could walk right up to a girl, flash my fangs, and she'd be all over me, telling me to bite her. I even got a dramatic 'I know what you are' line thrown at me once, and I'm just like, well duh, there's not a lot of other options. See, they all think that by letting me attack them, we will eventually fall in love, get married, climb trees, ect. ect., but it's kinda hard to do all that when your six feet under. So let's things straight. I do not sparkle, I am not Ussain Bolt, I cannot read minds, I will kill you If given the chance, and I most definitely will not or will ever fall in love.