He Has Never Lied to YOU!
JimWilliams6
  • Reads 141
  • Votes 2
  • Parts 18
  • Time 59m
  • Reads 141
  • Votes 2
  • Parts 18
  • Time 59m
JimWilliams6
Complete, First published Jun 05, 2019
absurdalthistoryanachronisticbathroombizarrecomedycountryfantasyfloridafunnylampoonliesnonsenseparodypoliticsrednecksatireserialsouthernstrangestupidtalltalestwisted
Tall tales from Myassa, Florida, United States of A Merka.
The stories here are not presented chronologically.  Myassa is not chronological, nor is it particularly geographical, just "north Florida". You can't touch it but you can taste it. It's nowhere but you can always get there from here. You never see it coming and you never have to leave.  You won't be alone because Myassa is open all night, every night. You unlock this door through the myth of Myassa. Beyond it is another demention: a demention of stupid, a demention of sight gags, a demention of mind farts. You're moving into a land both shallow and sophomoric, of alt history and ironies. You've just crossed over into... 
The Myassa Zone. "Where you're past is our future."

From the introduction to volume one.
Creative Commons (CC) Attribution
absurdalthistoryanachronisticbathroombizarrecomedycountryfantasyfloridafunnylampoonliesnonsenseparodypoliticsrednecksatireserialsouthernstrangestupidtalltalestwisted
Table of contents

18 parts

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FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS by JimWilliams6
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INTRODUCTION HOWDY, Y'ALL! I'M THE RIGHT HONORABLE RANTIN N. RAVEN-FAUX VI, MAYOR OF MYASSA. WELCOME TO MYASSA! PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE! SET YOURSELF DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO DRINK? SOME NICE WARM GERBIL OR BUTTOX MILK? A COOL SLICE OF PENGUIN MERINGUE PIE FROM THE HONEY-BAKED HAMSTER HALF HOUSE? HOW ABOUT SOMETHING SWEET? THE RIGHT HONORABLE SPOUSE JUST GOT HOME FROM MYASSA FUDGEPACKER'S #2 BACKDOOR OUTLET WITH CHOCOLATE AND FROM THE NO FOODS MARKET WITH SOME MUTANT GREEN TWINKIES. DON'T LET THE SPORADIC GUNFIRE PUT YOU OFF. WE SUPPORT THE SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO BEAR FIRE ARMS. WITH THE WAY OUR GOVERNMENT IS HEADING, WE'RE GOING TO NEED OUR GUNS TO DEFEND OURSELVES FROM SUPPORTERS OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT. DID YOU SEE THE IMMENSE DAMAGE DONE BY HURRICANE IRMA AS YOU CAME INTO TOWN? NEITHER DID WE. WHAT A COLOSSALLY DISAPPOINTING UNHURRICANE! FEEL FREE TO WALK AROUND MYASSA. IT'S BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR, WITH THE BEGGAR LOUSE AND SAND SPUR CROPS IN BLOOM. BUT BE VERY CAREFUL TO KEEP MOVING IN THE MYASSA NATIONAL OLD GROWTH KUDZU FOREST. A LOT OF TOURISTS STOP TO LOOK AROUND AND ARE ENTWINED TO DEATH EVERY YEAR. PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I TEND TO MAYOR STUFF. ENJOY YOUR STAY.
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FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS

26 parts Complete

INTRODUCTION HOWDY, Y'ALL! I'M THE RIGHT HONORABLE RANTIN N. RAVEN-FAUX VI, MAYOR OF MYASSA. WELCOME TO MYASSA! PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE! SET YOURSELF DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO DRINK? SOME NICE WARM GERBIL OR BUTTOX MILK? A COOL SLICE OF PENGUIN MERINGUE PIE FROM THE HONEY-BAKED HAMSTER HALF HOUSE? HOW ABOUT SOMETHING SWEET? THE RIGHT HONORABLE SPOUSE JUST GOT HOME FROM MYASSA FUDGEPACKER'S #2 BACKDOOR OUTLET WITH CHOCOLATE AND FROM THE NO FOODS MARKET WITH SOME MUTANT GREEN TWINKIES. DON'T LET THE SPORADIC GUNFIRE PUT YOU OFF. WE SUPPORT THE SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO BEAR FIRE ARMS. WITH THE WAY OUR GOVERNMENT IS HEADING, WE'RE GOING TO NEED OUR GUNS TO DEFEND OURSELVES FROM SUPPORTERS OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT. DID YOU SEE THE IMMENSE DAMAGE DONE BY HURRICANE IRMA AS YOU CAME INTO TOWN? NEITHER DID WE. WHAT A COLOSSALLY DISAPPOINTING UNHURRICANE! FEEL FREE TO WALK AROUND MYASSA. IT'S BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR, WITH THE BEGGAR LOUSE AND SAND SPUR CROPS IN BLOOM. BUT BE VERY CAREFUL TO KEEP MOVING IN THE MYASSA NATIONAL OLD GROWTH KUDZU FOREST. A LOT OF TOURISTS STOP TO LOOK AROUND AND ARE ENTWINED TO DEATH EVERY YEAR. PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I TEND TO MAYOR STUFF. ENJOY YOUR STAY.

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