This story goes on the main character, Cora Jane Ashton's struggle with an eating disorder while slowly falling in love with her old freshman crush, Bellamy Alexander.
Their relationship develops throughout my story, with the main issue being that Cora hasn't come out to Bellamy about her disorder. How will he take the news? Will their relationship spiral out of control? Or will they stand by each other?
Excerpt:
I had taught you so many things. Like the first time, you discovered how to count calories. I saw things in you, you were too young to see. You were only 14, with an open mind willing to try these treacherous things. One hit and you became addicted to it like nicotine, I had you reaching down your throat, fishing for the smallest bit of identity. You couldn't go a day without kneeling on the bathroom floor, trying to dispose of the foods you gave into binging the night before. I showed you foods that were considered," safe to eat" like those celery sticks that only had 13 grams of protein. I had you jogging up and down the street at almost noon, I don't know why I didn't ask you to stop. You only realized what I had done to you when your friends examined how much smaller you had got. Because in 11 days, you had lost 10 pounds because you ran 9 miles on, E but don't worry I urged you to fill up with 8 tall glasses of water to drink. Remember those crazy memories? So when I stopped caring, is when you should have started worrying, not before when we decided we weren't eating lunch, or after when we were in a hospital with a tube down our throat. But when we smiled while getting shamed for how they could make circles around our wrist with their fingers. To show how fragile we were.
Ella is falling apart trying to live a "perfect" high school life. Then she meets Ren, who can see past her scars. Suddenly perfection isn't her only option.
*****
Ella Volkov is a gifted music student, but she's depressed and starting to crack under the pressure of high school. Her overbearing father won't even let her choose what instrument she plays. Then she finds herself alone at a party with Ren, her best friend's crush. She'd always thought he was rude, but after that night he's all Ella can think about. Now she's trapped. If Ella dates Ren, it will ruin her friendship with Jenny. But if she stays true to Jenny, she's losing the one person who can see past her scars. It's up to Ella to decide if she will forge her own path, or stay in the "perfect" box designed for her...
Content and/or Trigger Warning: depression, anxiety, self-harm, violence, sexual assault.
[[word count: 50,000-100,000 words]]