50 Shades of Mallard

Mr. Spearing is a chemistry teacher. Mr. Mallard is a geometry teacher. Could I make it any more obvious?
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THIS WAS ALL WRITTEN AS A JOKE AMONGST THE PEOPLE IN MY CLASS SO DON'T TAKE ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY PLS! I actually debated long and hard for a few years whether or not I should upload this series onto Wattpad. But now I've graduated high school and the threat of seeing the two teachers who I wrote this story about is really slim so I'm taking the plunge.