Absolute Control
- Reads 378
- Votes 65
- Parts 25
MatureOngoing2h 46m
Last published Sat, Mar 14, 2020
There he is, a godly man stands in front of me. My heart is beating so fast that it feels like it will explode out of my chest. I have never felt like this before, I don't want this. It's a bad thing that I'm starting to feel, I'm becoming vulnerable. No, I have to suppress my feelings. I don't want to be hurt again, and what if father finds out? I'll become a dead meat if he does, I don't want more cuts and bruises. There's so much my weak little body won't be able to take another. This has to stop, it is a sin! Do not think about it, I need to be strong. I have been through things like this, I can suppress my feelings. I have absolute control or, so I thought...
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Promiscuity is addictive. It's so safe. You are not at risk of getting hurt, physically maybe , But emotionally ? No And the emotional pain is by far the worst. I know this because I've experienced both. Physical pain, from my alcoholic father, sexual abuse from his friends. It hurt, it really did. I have scars to show. But let me tell you, the worst type of hurt is the emotional pain. That pain you get when after years of building a wall around yourself, you FINALLY let someone in. You let that one special person in. You bring down your walls. You give your heart. You let him hold your heart in his palms even though you know the risks. You have so many dreams and fantasies about being with this person forever. And he leads you on. It feels good But then he turns around and crushes your heart. He squeezes the life out of it and you feel pain that you never thought was humanly possible. You feel so much pain you can't breathe. And then , you become cold. You stop feeling. You have no heart anymore. You become heartless, promiscuous, bad, really bad. Yes , that happened to me. Ben did that to me. It hurt. It hurt too much. But now I'm safe . Because I'm the bad girl. The one who doesn't have a heart left to be broken.
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