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Última atualização qui, mar 26, 2020
"My love for you flew like a butterfly
Until Death swooped down like a bat"
A series of words unspoken, thoughts unheard, passages unsaid. Words will always fail but meaning can change everything. It can drag you down to darkness or raise you up to light. These passages consists of both the well wishes as well as the scrutiny to the world around. The fear of releasing these thoughts into the world is frightening for I fear it may bring many down to the dark. So here they are, in a lybrary hidden away from the rest of the world. Beware, for there are monsters lurking in every nook and cranny. Forgive me if these words hurt or offend you in any shape or form. For these are the words that are not meant to be said. Words that should be left unspoken.
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darkthoughts
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Running Screaming
For 25 year old Amara Danvers, her life had gone to hell. She was stuck in an abusive relationship with a man who she loved but no longer wanted to be with. Trapped in a state far away from her family, no one to rely on. Her boyfriend's family shunned and ostracized her, looked the other way as she was repeatedly abused... Can life go on like this? What happens when everything... Even the tables change in a single night? "I don't want to live like this anymore!" "Then don't live. No one will ever love you." "Please! Stop hurting me! What did I do to deserve this?" "Ask yourself that... No one wants you. You deserve this. You'll never find anyone better." When the wheels stop spinning and everything goes dark.... "GET RID OF IT!" "STOP YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Will she have the strength to survive? To walk away? This is NOT a work of fiction. This is Real. This happened. This happened specifically to me. I am just telling my story. Names have been changed. Warning ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ This story depicts: Abuse Depression Trauma Recovery Unplanned Pregnancy Self Harm PTSD Mature themes Domestic Violence Please, if any of this is triggering, this is not for you. This is going to be very deep, depicting heavy trauma and I would rather you not read it if it is counterproductive to your mental health! If you are going through ANY of this, please contact your local domestic abuse hotline OR pm me and I will try to find you help.Concluída
It's Okay to Use Your Big Girl Voice
Inside you will find a mixture of both, extremely RAW and refreshingly HEALING accounts of my personal war with my past. Unfortunately, Childhood sexual abuse is far too common, and many of share similar experiences. Looking back, what I could have used more than anything was someone to tell me "You're not alone, there is a lightness through the darkness, you can heal from this and most importantly don't EVER stop telling your story to make others comfortable". I've learned that silence is the best weapon for a predator, and I for one, have never been really good at doing what I'm told. I don't intend on starting now. I wear my scar as reminder that I hold the power in my own story, it is mine to tell and I won't make myself sick keeping quiet because my truths are hard to swallow, other people's comfort is not my problem. My Goal is rather simple, to let the readers know, they too are not alone. If you are a survivor, even if you still feel like a victim, this is my personal message to you. "You are strong, and it wasn't your fault. Tell someone... tell anyone...tell everyone... We shift from victims to survivors when we speak up and tell our stories. There's nothing wrong with you, and the light will shine again. The longer you sit in silence the more power your abuser still holds over you, wipe your face warrior, because there's a lion right inside of you, DONT EVER GIVE UP!" *This story is FULL of TRIGGERS, please be careful reading if triggers are hard for you, your mental health matters* *I own all the Rights to all parts of this book*![His Butterfly [Edited]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/278554630-256-k128193.jpg)
His Butterfly [Edited]
In the world we are living in, everyone experiences love once; a true love. Our life is the same as a journey where people leave their stories behind, some bitter and some sweet. Some of them are lessons and some motivation. We learn about ourselves, our path, our desires, our happiness, our sadness and... our regrets. Like anyone else, we had a story in this journey of life. A story of friendship, a story of love, the story of a... Butterfly. I wish I could tell you how much you were important to me, I wish I could tell you how much I loved you and would have done anything to make you stay. You came like a Butterfly into my life, colorizing my dull life, and left like one so soon that it hurt. Mine and forever, my beautiful Butterfly, my Harmony. Love, your AxelConcluída
Family Comes First
Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021Concluída![The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/240554796-256-k368525.jpg)
The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]
I'm about to tell you a story about a girl. A normal girl. A girl that had no cares in the world, until her trust for it was stripped away. When you read her story, you'll find yourself trusting her, loving her, rooting for her. But you see, not everyone gets to trust the world. Not everyone has a happy ending. --- Halfway through the kiss however, his attitude changed; instead of being a loving embrace, it became a fierce trap. His grip on her waist tightened, trapped her where she was instead of simply holding her where he wanted her. The hand in her hair grabbed a section of it, enforcing his demand for her not to go anywhere. Before she knew what was happening, he left go of her hair, and pushed her to the ground. She gasped, suddenly able to breathe. He stood up and walked over to her. He placed a soft hand on her cheek, just like he used to when he was telling her how special she was to him. None of the emotion was there this time however, all she could feel radiating from his was rage. "You shouldn't have run off, babe," he said bitterly. "I was about to show you how much I loved you. Instead, I now have to show you what happens when you anger me." --- The men regarded her, before she was shoved to the ground and one produced a whip. There, laying broken on the floor, as the other girls watched, she was whipped. Slowly, she felt her skin breaking in time with her heart and her will.Concluída
Wave (Book 2)
I had survived the first. That was then; this is now. The blindfold of so many pills slowly died away and first though my finger then my head, a passion, a hurt and a need filled me as every moment was consumed with words; every breath with wisps of ink. But they were not all captured and somewhere in the deep abyss of living, lies the unspoken, almost unfelt feelings of decades in months. This is the half-empty account off all those nights from December through into the new year and the end of March. ...I pains me to share it. But it also makes it just not my problem anymore and that is something I long for- freedom and peace. Please note that all grammatical and linguistic, as well as those in punctuation and spelling or placing of words were intentional. If you LIKE this and want me to write a commentary on each poem and picture (as in my previous collection Apfel), please show me in comments and votes :) PLEASE DO NOT COPY any of the poetry or pictures.Concluída
Logan
*TW* Contains topics and scenes of sexual assault, self-harm, abuse.* "You know you loved every second of it," I can feel the tears welling up as well as the anger building up within me. I stare at him for a while before I have to turn away from his hungry gaze. "Look I just came here to tell you that I forgive you for what you did back in Cali and I'll take you back," "You forgive me?" I yell. "I did nothing to you. You raped me! You fucking raped me! You have no right to come here and tell me that. You. Forgive. Me. You traumatized me. What you did to me tore me up inside and was eating away at me until I tried to kill myself. And when I told people they didn't believe me. I had to listen to so many people talk about how great a guy you were and how I clearly just regretted sleeping with you. You are a monster. You made me hate myself for something that was never my fault. You have caused me so much pain and suffering," I pause to take a deep breath. "So you don't get to come here to my school and tell me you forgive me. You don't get to make me feel bad about coming forward. The only thing I regret is ever thinking you were a good person." _____________________________________________ Logan Young is a 16-year-old girl about to start her senior year in a brand new town. The past year has been tough and her family moved to give her a fresh start. Her life before the move had been hard and she had been spiraling. She quickly makes new friends and even enemies. She builds up walls to protect herself. But what happens when an unlikely person helps her to tear down her walls and heal. Will she be able to survive in this new place and keep her secrets intact?Concluída
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionConcluída
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Evolution
There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.Concluída
For 25 year old Amara Danvers, her life had gone to hell. She was stuck in an abusive relationship with a man who she loved but no longer wanted to be with. Trapped in a state far away from her family, no one to rely on. Her boyfriend's family shunned and ostracized her, looked the other way as she was repeatedly abused... Can life go on like this? What happens when everything... Even the tables change in a single night? "I don't want to live like this anymore!" "Then don't live. No one will ever love you." "Please! Stop hurting me! What did I do to deserve this?" "Ask yourself that... No one wants you. You deserve this. You'll never find anyone better." When the wheels stop spinning and everything goes dark.... "GET RID OF IT!" "STOP YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Will she have the strength to survive? To walk away? This is NOT a work of fiction. This is Real. This happened. This happened specifically to me. I am just telling my story. Names have been changed. Warning ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ This story depicts: Abuse Depression Trauma Recovery Unplanned Pregnancy Self Harm PTSD Mature themes Domestic Violence Please, if any of this is triggering, this is not for you. This is going to be very deep, depicting heavy trauma and I would rather you not read it if it is counterproductive to your mental health! If you are going through ANY of this, please contact your local domestic abuse hotline OR pm me and I will try to find you help.
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