The Girl You Thought You Knew

I can't remember a time when I wasn't feeling sad. I used to think there was always something telling me I was worthless and ugly; I thought my brain was broken. Everyone thought that I was going through a "little" tough situation and that It would soon be over and be like it never happened. We are always told not to judge a book by its cover so just because someone smiles all the time doesn't mean that they aren't holding on to something. But damn were they wrong. Putting on a fake smile and pretending everything was ok just wasn't working for me anymore and it stayed like that until I finally had enough. Everyone wasn't who I thought they were and all of them had left me when I most needed them. I am already depressed and suicidal, so what's the point of her trying anymore? But deep down, all I really wanted was someone to care and to prove that to me, but that's almost impossible since I've lost trust in everyone. All I want is to be free from this misery called her life. All I need is someone, is that too much to ask for? I don't know why life hates me and has turned on her when everything was going just great. I don't understand why I am like this, but then again, I don't think I'll ever understand.