ReCREATION
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- Parts 17
Ongoing7m
Last published Sun, Jun 30, 2019
It was just a really confusing time. My entire life I've only been mimicking emotions I feel like. It's like I haven't ever felt anything and my entire life I've been playing this imitation game, where I play the alien while everyone else gets to experience human. All these makeshift feelings have been fueling me, and realising that has torn me aparit these past couple months. Having to generate feelings to give me a reason for everything I do- making friends and being social, writing, living- all of it needed new conviction. It took me a while to find that. I don't even know if I have as of this moment. But I know one thing. The same thing I've known my entire life, and the one thing that i feel was honest.
I can't give up.
This is the Recreation of me.
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#81
nothappy
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I live in a world where I am nameless. I live in a world where I do not matter except or unless I am owned by someone. I do not have rights, freedoms, joys, wishes, or aspirations. I am property. I was born and raised to belong to someone that will one day take me away like the fairy tale stories that I listened to everyday in the house I live in. I prayed every night that a handsome prince would come and take me to live in his castle just like in the books. I prayed that I would be a princess and have a kingdom just like in the books. But I was never told that the books were all lies. I was never told the true reason why I was a well sought after commodity. I was never told that I am not the only one like me. When I found out it was too late to save myself. To think and in less than 4 days I will be taken away from my current home and be in a home of my own. I sat on the simple wooden bed hoping that my owner was nice and kind. I hated to think about some of the stories that I heard about the other girls like me. I hated thinking about being exterminated because I made my owner unhappy. I thought to myself that I would try real hard to keep him happy. I remember the covenant of rules that would keep me and my owner happy. I would need to follow five rules. 1. Always obey my owner. 2. Always be available to my owner. 3. Never talk back. 4. Always agree with my owner. 5. I am not human so I cannot do human things. I wondered how pretty human women were. I was so nervous about my departure I nearly refused to leave my room. I could leave if there wasn’t anything wrong with me physically. I remember the den mother telling me not to do anything that would cause a refund or else I would be exterminated upon refund. My new owner had thirty days to return me. If he returned me and no one else was interested I would be exterminated. I would be killed because it would be thought that I was defective and no one would want a defective product.
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