Curses are a.....(suffering through slow updates) - Captain Terrible Jokes and Puns - Wattpad

Story cover for Curses are a.....(suffering through slow updates) by Lostinworlds

Curses are a.....(suffering through slow updates)

Leituras 320
Votos 10
Capítulos 11
Tempo 33m

Leituras 320
Votos 10
Capítulos 11
Tempo 33m

dimension funny insanity morbid superpowers

Have you ever been cursed? I have and it is a %$@%%#$@. I'm not saying anything you stupid curse! Agggggh! Its bad enough I can't die until I figure out what I did to get Death indebted to the point where he gave me a painless (no seriously, my nerves work, but no pain) until judgement day life as his representative but then that (censored for sanity) cursed me to never swear again. no curse words. How long until the energy she gives to this runs out I have no idea. But you're just wondering, who is this maniac who is ranting about curses? I am James Nothing, a wandering, slightly insane guy stuck for the rest of eternity at sixteen. SIXTEEN!

Note: All items referenced from pop culture and the world at large belong to their respective owners, blah blah blah disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer, main character and some other characters belong to me unless specified by me, the author, and I would appreciate it if you didn't steal them or my ideas. Thank you.Todos os Direitos Reservados

dimension funny insanity morbid superpowers

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Why Did This Happened? ( CP X Reader ) Book 1, de halloween_mad

This is the ending of the chapter ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• -I Will ask you some questions, can you answer them? *Nods* -Okay.. Answer this. Remembered?. Answer- I rememberd like- like it was yesterday the war. Fear?. Answer- I saw him die in front of my own eyes... My dreams... Loneliness?. Answer- the cold inside my hearth....I'm empty...*mumbles* Sooo alone... Sadness?. Answer- without them.... Warmness?. Answer- My love for my daughters..... Sally?. Answer- Kind and a beautiful girl.... Jane?. Answer- wanted revenge and love at the same time... Ann?. Answer- A smart kind girl... Sadie?. Answer- A lovely girl... Lazari?. Answer- ...... A shy cute girl.. Ally?. Answer- A jokeful kind hearted. *puts down pen* *looks at her* -Do you want to change you're name? -*nods* lights -Hmmm... Okay you're name will be.... Lights Aka Fear blossom.. *Look through files**Looks at her again* -*sad smile* Come with me.. They will be you're new family.. She said... I'm happy..... To have...... Them.. ------------ ¬_¬ not my fault that it sucks.. Completed at 1/27/17.

"Was it worth the cost?", de Ava0anonymous

"We are all meant to die just once, but apparently, that is nothing short of a lie. A fake reality that we are taught in adolescence. When I learned that truth, I lost everything. ፈᏗᏁᏗᏒᎩ When you calmed my mind, you changed me and took the last thing from me that I had. Now I am alone in this world a victim of its unending cruelty. All of you will learn that. When you do you will wish that you treated me better while you had the chance, " This is not a romance novel. Do not think this is a romance novel. The sequel is thought. Not all mobile devices will be able to show all the text accurately as I use fonts as a conveyer of mental health. Warning Every warning you can think of. There will be gore rape torture and what is worse. Also, I make stories by writing the story plot and everything, and rewriting it to fit in the small details. The chapters all the final ones but the story itself has been finished.

Killer Romance [Book 1] [Jeff the Killer x Reader] [JTK], de xXDarkQueenXxRei

Ten days? You have ten days left to live, but in those ten days, you have to act like you're dating him. What type of situation is that? A messed up one. Petty secrets... Incumbent lies... Weird, right? You don't even know this guy and, quite frankly, you're scared to death. It almost seems like fate is tempting you, slowly luring you into a black hole of what your life will soon be. But what will happen if Jeff seems to slowly attach himself to you? Will his protective actions be enough to keep away those dirty secrets and lies that are locked away in the barricades of his mind? Some lies may just be a cover, and some truths may lead to others, but there is an even bigger picture that you may not be alive to paint. Your life is about to turn into a nightmare. How many days will you last? (The reader is identified as female in this story. However, this does not mean other gender identities cannot read this.) -+- *1st Place in Jeff the Killer 2015 Summer Creepypasta Awards (@Creepypasta_Awards)* *1st Place in Creepy/Evil/Supernatural 2015 Summer xReader FanFiction Awards (@FanFiction_Awards)* *#210 in Fanfiction* -+- First book in the Killer Romance Series. (Jeff the Killer x Reader) I don't own Jeff the Killer and I don't own you. Most of the characters presented in this book do not belong to me. Picture used in the cover isn't mine. Credit to the creator. -+- 2023 UPDATE: I wrote this story almost 10 years ago when I was a teenager. Reading back through it now, I can see so many things I wish I wrote differently. So many things that I find just... cringy. It's one of the reasons I cannot complete the series. I really wish that one day I'll rewrite this entire thing to be more sensible. For now, I hope that you can enjoy what gave me so much joy as a teen. Thank you to everyone who has come back to leave such nice comments after so many years. I will return to writing one day.

different (Trilogy: BOOK 1) ✔, de dakotah1212

I am not your typical 16 year-old girl going around obsessing over boy bands and clothes, I can't obsess over those things on a daily when everyday I'm in fear that the government will take me in. I have superpowers. Not the superpowers like fake magic, real superpowers. Everyone would do absolutely anything to be me. But, I would trade my life with yours cause' I hate having this fear everyday. People fear me though. They're afraid that I'll hurt them, but would never hurt a soul. I believe that everyone is important in this world and can make a big difference unlike me. Telling somebody their a "nobody", "nothing" or "worthless" is something I would never do. I am different than anyone off the street. I have now been put in a spot that I have to fix by myself or the whole country could be in danger. But if I do this then I'll be the one taken in by the government. I am Nicole Patterson and I am in danger. START DATE: 12/29/16 COMPLETE DATE: 09/09/17

Slay My Soul, de CassidyRoseNZ

There once was a girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead, and when she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid. Ok admittedly I don't have a curl, and I don't plan on being horrid. I plan to be their worst fucking nightmare. They took the love of my life from me, and they have broken me more than any of their previous attempts could ever dream to. But the jokes on them. My pain is my gain, and I will use it to destroy them. I will solve the prophecy and end this ridiculous power struggle. I will watch their blood fall to the swing of my sword, and I will do it with a smile on my face. My only concern is what will be left of me once the bodies fall. My inner darkness is a crazy, bloodthirsty bitch that enjoys wreaking havoc. I'm not sure that's quite what the Fate's had in mind as their champion and future queen. Meh, fuck it. Let the chips fall where they may. This is the final book in the Pieces of Me trilogy. This is not a stand-alone. Please note this is a reverse harem/ why choose book. Please read the trigger warnings inside. Explicit content R18 readers.

Static, de hattielynn

{COMPLETED} "now that you've had your fun electrocuting me, would you care to hop in the backseat?" ---------------------------------------------------------- Freak DNA. That's what I like to call it. The fault to my genetic code. More often than not, it's a curse. The static running through my blood gave me a name. A cruel, daunting label of a measly bug. A roach. That's what I am to them, to the government. Roach; the nameless monster with electricity for a sense and lightening as a second nature. It ruined my life, the sparking currents playing tag in my mind, running around and bumping into everything, shaking me loose. The government, actually. They ruined my life. My curse just gave them a reason. You see, the normal population with ordinary DNA, they don't know about the people like me. The roaches of the world. We don't get that kind of recognition at the camps. There, we are only one thing in the military's eyes. We are weapons and we will act like it. Everyone else out there, bathing in the goodness they don't know they've got, they don't know about the roaches their stepping on. As long as their getting closer to the sky, they don't care what they stand on to reach it. They don't know about the sparkling dreamer that's killed 7 people before her 17th birthday. They don't about the ghost of a girl peaking around corners for her entire life because even home wasn't safe. They don't know about the fighter of steel and iron sucking on his bloody lip courtesy of the wars he battles in as nothing but a shadow. They don't know about the masked villain who would do anything to see the army they lead claim the throne They don't know about us. But they will, because we will rise. And when we arrive, we will arrive violently. ___________________________________________ Started: 10.06.15 Finished: 3.17.16

𝑰 𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼, 𝑰 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑬 ✧ 𝑩𝑨𝑫 𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑺𝑬𝑺, de chaesteria

"How can Cupid... how could you be so cruel?" I curse lowly. Who could have imagined something like this happening to me? It had been so long since everything happened, but somehow the pain in my heart never left. The memories starts to flashback into my mind as I start to process what is happening in front of me, and why my past heartbreaks are all gathered at the same place. Nightmare, my childhood friend and first love. My first ever heartbreak. I tend to find him in everyone I have loved. He was cold and unpredictable but he was also warm and considerate at times... He was complicated but I loved all of him. Error, the one I chased over and one I was not willing to give up. He stood up from the rest and gave color to my world. All my poems were dedicated to him and him alone. Dust, possibly my other half. He felt like my soulmate. Everything about him made me feel like we were meant for each other. We shared the same interests about everything but I was wrong about one thing. We didn't share the same feelings. His heart belonged to my best friend. Killer, a flirty guy who people often rumored as the playboy. Most girls had fallen in love with his charm and personality. I was one of those unfortunate ones who fell right into his trap. But I... I saw something in him that other people couldn't see; there was something beneath those sweet grins. Horror. My comfort. My home. The one who filled the gap. The one who I think of every little nice thing. I love him so much to the point where I feel like the pain that would come with it would be worse than death. It had to be avoided. Cross. I was always drawn into him. He was my best-est friend. The one who I can count on everytime. The shoulder I can lean to when needed. The one who made me feel like I am the best thing that ever happened in his life. He was perfect while I am just... me. So why did I have to see them again? Why now? Love is not something I want to go through again... never again. <\3

Sweet Insomnia [Book 2] [Jeff the Killer x Reader] [JTK], de xXDarkQueenXxRei

SECOND BOOK IN THE KILLER ROMANCE SERIES (SPOILER IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE FIRST BOOK) -+- You were left broken. Heart crushed to pieces, you try to forgive and forget, but your mind keeps darting back to the subject. Nearly a month after the incident, you're released from the hospital and sent home... or so it seems. You struggle to eat, drink, and sleep knowing that a killer- one that you're very familiar with- is still on the streets. One dark, disturbing, creepy evening, you experience a repeat of the night that your life changed. But how much of it is actually real? Mind trapped into a spiral, you try to decipher what is really going on. What types of lies are hidden underneath the seams of what is thought to be your past? Do you even know what trust is anymore? He's back. And he's more determined than ever. -+- *1st Place in Jeff the Killer 2015 Winter Creepypasta Awards and EA: Best Written (@Creepypasta_Awards)* *#260 in Fanfiction* -+- Second book in the Killer Romance Series. I still don't own Jeff, and I still don't own you. (Jeff the Killer x Reader) Picture used in the cover also isn't mine, so credit to the creator. -+- I do not give doc truyen or any individual, website, organization, server, etc. the right to reproduce, post, publish, steal, etc. my stories and ideas.

Good Luck! // Creepypasta x lucky reader, de Little_Holdup

The curse of Luck, the ability to never fail, to never suffer, but is that not suffering in itself? I'm bored of living, bored of lying. If I cant end it myself, I'll get a monster to do it for me. -------------------------------------------------------- ill try to make this as gender natural as possible. WARNING- this story makes light of heavy topics. #1 creepypastaxreader /2023-05-04 #1 goodluck /2022-01-19 #1 proxies /2022-03-07

Dealbreaker, de Depression_Sucks421

"Ugh, I feel like absolute shit, and more so than usual. Ohh, my head. Where the everlasting fuck am I?" I asked myself aloud, and I was immediately lightly shocked by some sort of discipline shock collar as soon as the bad words left my mouth. "OW! What the ffrick was that?!" I exclaimed in pain as I unsuccessfully tried to sit up fully, and only got to sit up partially because of the chains around & on my neck, hands, and body..... ***DISCLAIMER*** You will have to read or already read my Miraculous fanfic (and know the cannon of the show Gravity Falls) to understand most of this, so I strongly recommend that you do, otherwise you won't know what is happening here. ***END DISCLAIMER*** Thank you for reading this, and I hope you all enjoy it alot!! 😊 ✌(◕‿-)✌ 😊

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Slide 1 of 10

Why Did This Happened? ( CP X Reader ) Book 1 cover

"Was it worth the cost?" cover

Killer Romance [Book 1] [Jeff the Killer x Reader] [JTK] cover

different (Trilogy: BOOK 1) ✔ cover

Slay My Soul cover

𝑰 𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼, 𝑰 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑬 ✧ 𝑩𝑨𝑫 𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑺𝑬𝑺 cover

Sweet Insomnia [Book 2] [Jeff the Killer x Reader] [JTK] cover

Good Luck! // Creepypasta x lucky reader cover

Dealbreaker cover

Why Did This Happened? ( CP X Reader ) Book 1

This is the ending of the chapter ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• -I Will ask you some questions, can you answer them? Nods -Okay.. Answer this. Remembered?. Answer- I rememberd like- like it was yesterday the war. Fear?. Answer- I saw him die in front of my own eyes... My dreams... Loneliness?. Answer- the cold inside my hearth....I'm empty...mumbles Sooo alone... Sadness?. Answer- without them.... Warmness?. Answer- My love for my daughters..... Sally?. Answer- Kind and a beautiful girl.... Jane?. Answer- wanted revenge and love at the same time... Ann?. Answer- A smart kind girl... Sadie?. Answer- A lovely girl... Lazari?. Answer- ...... A shy cute girl.. Ally?. Answer- A jokeful kind hearted. puts down pen looks at her -Do you want to change you're name? -nods lights -Hmmm... Okay you're name will be.... Lights Aka Fear blossom.. *Look through files**Looks at her again* -sad smile Come with me.. They will be you're new family.. She said... I'm happy..... To have...... Them.. ------------ ¬_¬ not my fault that it sucks.. Completed at 1/27/17.