Floating
- Reads 100
- Votes 6
- Parts 2
I'm floating. I'm floating in the bubble of insecurity, or I'm not - I don't know. I don't care what happens in my life anymore. If I die, live, survive; whatever - it doesn't matter anymore. So I'm floating: going where people tell me to go, wearing what people tell me to wear, isn't that just like insecurity? The only difference is I'm half awake.
****
Ali's mum died a year ago. She moved to scotland with an aunt and uncle she bearing knew, her sister left for college, and frankly, she's lost the will to live. But then she gets a car, she can go where ever she wants, her guardians even encourage her to go for a drive.
You'd think the first place she would go would be her mum's grave, but no - her dad's old house, where so many memories lie, but none of her mother. You'd think a man with his family might open the door, but no - you wouldn't believe who answers that old wooden door.
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floating
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It is the autumn equinox, or the death day, the time to contact those that have gone before. Everyone closes their eyes and are silent to commune with the spirits. I had never tried to contact spirits before. But this year I seek my mother. She died this day, fourteen years ago; my birthday. My position in the ceremony is shadow maker. This is a role that I have played since I was old enough to carry the marker staff. It is a rod the length of my forearm tapered at the lower end and holding a clear stone at the top. I hold it high in the air waiting. It catches the light, and its shadow forms an eye directly in the middle of the equinox stones. Spirits surround me. They stop and nod, or at least make eye contact before moving on. "Mother?" She could be an older version of myself. She smiles at me, then, fades as an old presence joins me. This spirit isn't just old; it's ancient. It exudes wisdom and understanding, peace and culture. We celebrate, together, to the music of creation. I seem to know the dance but not as well as she. We are alone only briefly before being joined by another. They dance as if they know each other's every move. I try to keep up. When I falter, they smile, laugh and show me how. There is no passage of time. We dance together for an instant and forever. I shouldn't, but I open my eyes. My shadow, marking the equinox, isn't a shadow, it is a shimmering swirl of blended light. The stone in the top of my staff is flicking with a brilliant white accented by scintillating bands of many colours. I quickly close my eyes but the ancients are gone. We all open our eyes. My shadow falls through the standing stones as it should. And it is black, also, as it should be. They had danced with me.
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