Madame Tea
writingunicornuk
  • Reads 60
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 10
  • Time 1h 6m
  • Reads 60
  • Votes 1
  • Parts 10
  • Time 1h 6m
writingunicornuk
Ongoing, First published Jul 22, 2019
assassinfunnyhumorlightheartedplantspunsstrongfemaleleadsurrealtacticalfridgeteawarfarewattys2019weird
Madame Tea: Wanted for the assassination of Harry "Wrong Mic" Speckalfast, the largest member of the smallest cartel in the cardboard box packing district of the Bonks. Outstanding citations and excellent warrants in connection with a number of small crimes in Lower Batislavishire and smaller crimes in Lowest Batislavishire. Distinguishing features: Female, Age unknown (no known survivors of inquiry), height depends upon the weather. Known associates: include Franky "two tests" Maglorian, Samuel "The Malarkey" Hapston, and Mable Jones from the Post Office. If you have any information about the whereabouts of this person, or of any additional crimes not listed in the attached appendices (vols. 1 - 7) please keep it to yourself. We're not dealing with this Sh!*£ any more. 

Madame Tea is the episodic escapades of a trained assassin who dresses like a Victorian duchess and uses a variety of deadly and unique tea plants to help her in her schemes.  Wild, witty, punographic and surreal, follow the diary entries of a hapless narrator as he is dragged into adventure after escapade by the marvellous Madame Tea, facing tactical fridges, bread to bread combat and predatory horticulture, and running into the 'seed'ier side of the world.

All the individual chapter artworks are created by AH @traftra. Check out her art.


N.B. Madame Tea is an ongoing series, written in short bursts, so do please check back for the new chapters. The later chapters are no less chaotic but generally longer, and more story-full than the current offering. 
N.B. I'm still of two minds about writing the chaotic "Diary Entries" style into a full story, so feedback on that would be appreciated, as would any other type of feedback.  Feel free to nitpick.
All Rights Reserved
assassinfunnyhumorlightheartedplantspunsstrongfemaleleadsurrealtacticalfridgeteawarfarewattys2019weird
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10 parts

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In this book, you'll get a behind the scenes look at how your favorite characters were born, my creative process, and the dirty details never before revealed. Tex's Camp Q&A: Come sit by the fire and ask me whatever you'd like. We can roast marshmallows, tell scary stories, and hang out in the comments like a big, happy family. Gator's Backstage Pass: A place full of secrets. Learn the-sometimes embarrassing-details on how my wildest scenes came to life, facts about the characters, the process, and myself.

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