DESCRUCTIVE THINKING
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- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Wed, Dec 5, 2018
I've always said that I have to be in a certain mood for my feelings to truly be expressed back on paper. And for a while it was all good, my writing suffered but I was happy and not in this particular mindset where I had to write in order to relieve myself of the negative thoughts and emotions in my head. Tonight I was reminded of the saying "never say never" as cliche as that sounds. But I'll be ok though, I just need to get this off my chest.
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Save Me
I was drowning. I knew that. I also knew that the hands around my throat, pushing me deeper into the river water was the cause. What I didn't know was who was drowning me and why. It hurt thinking. It hurt to do anything right now. But I still screamed under the cold water and pushed the hands away as hard as I could. It didn't have much effect. I fought and fought, but I was getting weaker, and colder. The pain was overbearing. I couldn't breathe. It was the worst pain imaginable; and as the hands that were around my neck were forcibly ripped off by some unknown force, I slipped deeper into the depths of the river. My hair was straight above me along with my arms. My eyes were open and the water burned. A darkness started to pull me under, taking the pain away. I felt a small pressure around my waist, before the darkness completely consumed me. The last thing I remember is thinking, save me.Complete
¿How far are you willing to go? {Book 4} (Old Version) Being renewed
A body swam above me as he moved toward me, oh for heaven sakes! Even stuck in a bottom of the pool I had the disgrace to be saved by him again? What was he even doing here in the first place? Was he stalking me or something? Oh God, I had a stalker like in the movies. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up but my body didn't move an inch. I pushed him away from me and shook his shoulders as I pointed down at my stuck foot. He swam down and tried to unhook the bracelet but he couldn't. He pushed himself up and I thought that he had given up on me. I thought he was a rapist, now that I blew his cover it was a perfect way to get rid of me. I'm going to save myself, I don't need him anyways. I hovered and struggled to get it out. How did this even happen? I was pushed as jerk face returned, my head leaned back as he swam toward me and sneaked his arms around my waist to bring me forward. He plastered our mouths together to give me mouth to mouth breathing and the bracelet suddenly unhooked by itself. The fuck the ancestors think they're doing?Complete
Savior (a Andy Biersack romance)
I felt the back of my head connect with the wall and felt a hot liquid pour down my neck and back. I touched my hand to the back of my head and lifted my hand up to examine a shiny liquid that must have been my blood. I felt dizzy and my stomach turned as I saw so much blood covering my hand. The man then laid me on the ground and stripped me. I was so weak by this point that I couldn't even fight back. He then spread my legs and took what he wanted. All I could do was lie there moaning in pain. All of a sudden I heard someone yell and the man got off of me and ran. I saw a pair of blue eyes and said, "My savior," and then I fell into darkness.Complete
Flower Steps
Something came to Gisselle, when she suddenly crashed into a car while driving, a guy was there, helping her and trying to heal her. She felt something in her hand, she could smell it. She had a flower held in her hand. "Keep it safe, you might need it for luck." The guy's voice was low and mysterious. "What for?" I said, my head felt unconscious and light headed, I felt like I don't remember anything and wanted to throw up because of being light headed. The guy hasn't respond, but I got up to the door and deciding that if I should go home or go to school in the middle of the day. A hand held my wrist, still holding the flower that was in my hand. "Not yet, I'm not done. You have a major bruise on your head, I'll get you some ice." I didn't want ice, I felt like I wanted to go home, but I stayed for a while because I don't know where had my car go or where to exit. How did I get here? What happened? Why am I here? I needed answers, but I guess I'll save it for the last.Complete
Fatal Attraction: Falling into a Cruel love (Boyxboy)
Why did he kidnap me? This happened 3 months ago. Many times I have tried to escape the clutches of his rough hands. Many times I have cried for help. But I need to get stronger in order to escape from him. Now, three months later, I think about this, but now my feelings are different. I wanted to kill him, to make him suffer the way he made me suffer. "Do it, kill him!" Is what I'm thinking. "Kill him and it will be over. I will be able to escape." The mask that was hiding his identity looks at me as I hold the knife to his throat. The whole time I been wondering why I didn't just slit his throat. He told me to do it, to finish him but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I couldn't hate him for the times he whipped me or raped me. I just couldn't. I looked at him holding the knife to his throat with a shaky hand. No matter how hard I try I can't hate him. No matter how hard I try I can't get the knife to slice Reidson's throat. Dropping the knife on the floor I look at his face. I couldn't see his eyes because of the white mask. Now the same hands that used to be so rough became soft and warm. He still beats and rapes me but I figured out why I didn't hate him for making me suffer like this with these same hands that hurt me so cruelly are now touching my face gently. I held his hand to my chest as I look at his masked face. His hand is stained with blood. My blood. I look at his face, I have fallen into a cruel love.Complete
My Poems
A certain person showed me to write my pain into poems instead of just writing crap down. I still do that but some I make into poems. I just keep them hidden in whatever I write them in, but I decided I should put them here. They probably aren't good but I try.
Ephemera
Still here and I want it gone. Still here and I want her back. Has desire ever felt this wrong? Has loss ever felt this necessary?Complete
Fearless
Shit. I hopped on my bike and I started it and I drove off. As I was zooming down the street I saw a wolf in the middle of the road I was going to fast I pressed on my breaks but I wasn't going to stop in time so I swerved off the road. I moved the bike off of me, the wolf slowly came up to me. I thought I was going to die, but I didn't instead it bit my side I screams once it's teeth synced through my skin. What was worse then it stopped I felt his teeth slowly pull out he then ran off I cried in pain I heard my phone go off but I couldn't move nor answer everything was blurred I saw figures through my helmet. I heard cars stopped I saw someone standing over me. He lifted me to sit up but I screamed and cried in pain. He looked at my side and saw the bit then everything went black.Complete
when Em came to me
this is some stuff I write because I can't say it out loud and/or because I shouldn't be thinking about it. this is truly how I feel and what I think.Complete
Save Me
I was drowning. I knew that. I also knew that the hands around my throat, pushing me deeper into the river water was the cause. What I didn't know was who was drowning me and why. It hurt thinking. It hurt to do anything right now. But I still screamed under the cold water and pushed the hands away as hard as I could. It didn't have much effect. I fought and fought, but I was getting weaker, and colder. The pain was overbearing. I couldn't breathe. It was the worst pain imaginable; and as the hands that were around my neck were forcibly ripped off by some unknown force, I slipped deeper into the depths of the river. My hair was straight above me along with my arms. My eyes were open and the water burned. A darkness started to pull me under, taking the pain away. I felt a small pressure around my waist, before the darkness completely consumed me. The last thing I remember is thinking, save me.
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