lost

lost

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, Sep 11, 2019
"every human ada tahap kesabaran masing masing, include me, Sarah. i ada bestfriend, nama dia Zetty. i thought my bestfriend love me like i do, but- she just using me for benefits. i ada mental disorder and yes, i memang cepat terasa. hahaha most of people yang kenal i, semua annoyed dengan i. i knew it. i ada boyfriend, same age and same school but not in the same class. i treat everyone yang i kenal dengan special gila, but how they treat me leads to suicide. i stress gila. sampai i rasa nak lari rumah, bunuh diri, supaya ia dapat meringankan beban for the people i know. hari semakin hari, mental disorder i makin teruk. doctor said it can cause death. i takut. i takut sangat sangat. i pergi klinik ni pun without my parents permission. sebab if i bagitahu dorang pun, i dah tahu apa dorang cakap. 'apalah kecik kecik lagi dah ada penyakit centu, apa yang nak stress sangat? takyah nak berdrama lah apa disorder ke anxiety ke ape ke halah' i knew it. hari semakin berlalu, and my future jadi semakin pudar. i rasa macam i takde future. no one want to stand up with me, even my bestfriend or my boyfriend. will i do the things i wanted to do? we'll see..." - story ni kind of like fixi punya story, and ada kata kata yang agak lucah atau censored untuk pembaca bawah umur, dan saya (penulis) menggunakan dua bahasa dalam cerita ini. english dan melayu. hope you enjoy the story! thanks for reading
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***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.

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