Thirteen, when my dad was suspected, and thrown in jail for murder, and drug trafficking that I knew he did. At fourteen, when I witnessed, my first funeral which was caused by a serious case of overdosage, and that's when I knew there wasn't much to life than addiction.
Everything, I have been living was a lie, and full of deceit. I just thought I could make everything better, but I only solved a problem in which case was loneliness, but the pain I felt physically, and mentally was still there until HE came.
He hit me like a painkiller, and made everything depressing about my life go away. I had to take him every second, every minute, every hour, every single fucking day in a week, all weeks in a month, all months in a year or I could just die.
Because, I was his addiction, and he was my
*MORPHINE*
"The stars are infinite. And all I've ever wanted was an infinite."
______________
All I knew was pain. Pain was I, and I was pain. We shared each other, mind and body. Me and pain were made for each other like puzzle pieces, and that sickened me. I loved pain, I hated pain. I loved bringing the knife to my wrist, but I hated the ache in my chest, like drowning.
There was nothing I sought more than my own self destruction. And here, amongst the stars, skies, and cliffs, I'd find what I sought. I'd make it mine. I'd become infinite.
WARNING: this story contains abuse, self harm, and suicide. Do not read if these topics can trigger something within you. Please, know your limits.