Gardens & Graves
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- Parts 4
-• I am messed up. I am fake and act like a bitch to others. I would hug my friends because they felt sad, and I wouldn't feel any type of emotion towards them. When I would date people, they'd tell me they love me and I'd say it back, not meaning it at all. Everyone describes me as sweet, nice, caring, always smiling. I put up an act to protect myself from being hurt again. And that causes me to be a total bitch on the inside. And yes, maybe I am mean, cruel, and crazy to think such things. But sometimes someone can just breathe and I'll want to body slam them. My sister says that when I'm mad, I look like I can kill someone. And maybe I am crazy and a bitch. But I wouldn't change a thing I did nor what I thought. Karma is a bitch, and it already bit me. I can't wait to see what the future hold for me. •-
[ this story is about my real life experiences and my true thoughts on it; it may get violent, rude, triggering, and offensive to others so if you read this story don't go bitching to me in the comments. Thank you, come again. ]
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Throughout my life, words have been everything. I write with them to ease my own mind and also use them to comfort others. The title is very much reflective of the time during which I wrote these. Hazyfantazy, a nickname given to me by friends at the time, seemed important to include in the title, as it highlighted a time in my life where writing was a great solace and also a joy and whilst in some ways I feel I have very much outgrown her, as I have the friends who originated the name, she made me who I am today. I decided to put all of these together in one place, as felt they worked best as a collective and also so that I can revisit them from time to time. I originally intended to add to them, however after reading them and revisiting a lot of memories, it became apparent that anything I write from this day forth, would feel like they were written by a different me. I think I would be better starting a new journey with anything new that I write. Some of the pieces are personal and very reflective of the anxiety issues and panic attacks that plagued my late 20's and early 30's. Others are very much fictional written in the style of personal experience. To anyone who takes the time to read any of my poems, I thank you. Your time is precious and I appreciate any that's given and if you hit the little vote button too, you have my everlasting gratitude ❤️. I am looking forward to writing, for the first time in a long time and for now bid farewell to Hazyfantazy, you were one hell of a rollercoaster ride.
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