Frog of calaveras county
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Last published Sun, Aug 4, 2019
The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County
In compliance with the request of a friend of mine, who wrote me from the East, I called on good-natured, garrulous old Simon Wheeler, and inquired after my friend's friend, Leonidas W. Smiley, as requested to do, and I hereunto append the result. I have a lurking suspicion that Leonidas W. Smiley is a myth; that my friend never knew such a personage; and that he only conjectured that, if I asked old Wheeler about him, it would remind him of his infamous Jim Smiley, and he would go to work and bore me nearly to death with some infernal reminiscence of him as long and tedious as it should be useless to me. If that was the design, it certainly succeeded.
I found Simon Wheeler dozing comfortably by the bar-room stove of the old, dilapidated tavern in the ancient mining camp of Angel's, and I noticed that he was fat and bald-headed, and had an expression of winning gentleness and simplicity upon his tranquil countenance. He roused up and gave me good-day. I told him a friend of mine had commissioned me to make some inquiries about a cherished companion of his boyhood named Leonidas W. Smiley Rev. Leonidas W. Smiley a young minister of the Gospel, who he had heard was at one time a resident of Angel's Camp. I added that, if Mr. Wheeler could tell me any thing about this Rev. Leonidas W. Smiley, I would feel under many obligations to him. MORE#COMING.SOON
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"You bitch! Look what you fucking did!" "I did?" I ask. "You were the fuck the blew the red light!" "I didn't blow any fucking lights, bitch whore! You destroyed my fucking Jeep!" "No I didn't! You got a tiny fucking dent and a goddamn scratch? I can't even drive my fucking car!" "So? It's a piece of shit anyways and you shouldn't have blown the fucking light!" "I didn't fucking blow the light, asshole! You did!" "I did not!" he shouts, getting right in my face. "How old are you anyways? Three?" "No! You're acting like a fucking two year old! Just own up to your goddamn mistake!" "I didn't make a mistake, you cunt! You did!" "Fuck you, dick! I didn't do anything!" "How fucking old are you?" he hisses, his lips inches from mine. "I'll be fucking twenty one tomorrow, fucker, how about you, huh? How old are you? Thirty? Forty?" "Twenty fucking two." he hisses. "Now pay up!" he puts his hand out. <><> Alyssa is your regular girl with perfect looks. Luke is your hot bad boy asshole. When you push the two together, two things can happen. One, they can click, or two, they can crash. And it won't be hard to wonder if he's a Devil or an Angel.
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