Pain On The Daily

Many days I walk these empty lonely dark streets alone. with no one. I'll admit very often i do wish to be left alone but in these times were I seek comfort its as if those that hold close too me seem to have vanished, evaporated even. its hard ... you know. being that person that Everyone can go to or that person that can comfort anyone . . . when in fact ... I don't have that type of person who I can go to and I'm not sure there's many willing to comfort me who would actually be comforting . so although many might consider me as their friend I find it hard to befriend them. to most I am nothing but an option and then there are others who could blink and completely forget my entire existence. I dont fancy anyones attention , i just dont know the feeling of being put first . HECK! i dont even know the feeling of being considered or included ... im just ... *'that friend" the on thats always there and always loyal ... but still im pretty sure no on really has that moment of shock or realisation where they remember I exist . and I would say I'm used to it ... but I think I would be lying , i could be familiar with it , i could recognise it ... but not be used to it. the pain never leaves . its just this echoing voice in the back of my head listing all the many reasons I am not good enough. that of which there are many.. my list just seems to never end . pain on the daily . of course my description is interesting but honestly barely has anything to the my actual story .