Story cover for What suffocation feels like by koda_moonshine
What suffocation feels like
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  • WpView
    Reads 28
  • WpVote
    Votes 0
  • WpPart
    Parts 5
  • WpHistory
    Time 5m
Ongoing, First published Aug 07, 2019
Mature
What does it feel like when you fake how you feel 90% of your life? It feels like you are slowly suffocating yourself. This is how I live my life. 

I'm 20 years old
I attend college online
My boyfriend of almost 3 years lied to me not once but twice
I can't tell my dad how I feel
My mom and brother live in a different state


Bottom line I'm alone
All Rights Reserved
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{CURRENTLY UNPUBLISHED} 10/2/25 Edit: this book has been removed from Wattpad, but the characters live on in a published series titled The Wildflower Series, which can be found on Amazon and in bookstores. Alive at Night, Awake at Dawn, Attached at Heart are available now. Already at Risk, which follows Collins' brother Cameron, is coming on October 16th. Thank you so much! When a college freshman with a learning disability and a reputation collides with a straight-A, straight-laced girl in the dorm kitchen one night, he sees the darkest parts of himself reflected in her. But the two of them resist acknowledging their hidden truths, and their forbidden connection, until ignoring it all becomes too perilous. *** Bren meets Madie during his first week at college, and he's certain he should have nothing to do with her. First of all, Madie has a boyfriend. And second of all, Madie's boyfriend radiates a toxicity that Bren only just escaped from growing up. But knowing what he should do doesn't help him at all. Madie might be completely entwined with her abusive boyfriend, but Bren quickly becomes determined to unravel her. But can Bren open Madie's eyes to the truth before it's too late? *** "Don't go back to being treated like you're not real." Madie's lips parted, and I couldn't read the expression on her face. But we were so close now. "You're real, Madie. Feel it." "I feel it," came her breathy reply. When it came to her, I was weak. My legs couldn't hold me anymore, and I slid down. Landing on my knees, I kneeled back against the bottom of the cold door, letting it cool my hot skin. "Good girl." The words were more of a pant; I could barely catch a breath with the way my heart was racing. But I had to tell her, talk to her. "Now, never forget it. Never forget the way you feel right now, Madie." **MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY** This story contains sensitive topics such as abuse, violence, and explicit sexual content.
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You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.