Half of me

Half of me

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WpMetadataReadHoàn thành Thứ 7, thg 10 19, 20197m
I'm getting nervous, my palms are sweating, and my breath rhythm have speed up. I've never thought of myself as bisexual. I don't know, I feel if my family and friends find out about it, they would get this illusion that I'm not confident or sure about my self-esteem any longer? They prob think "oh, he's just insecure. Or he has changed". And whys that? Maybe because I'm a stereotypical white boy. It's just how it turned out. I dress as everyone else, act like everyone else and maybe I think like everyone else? And suddenly I'm supposed to turn the table and become this love maniac, and all I talk about is love is love! Maybe get my nails painted too. I chuckle of the thought. Maybe I am insecure? Kind of a4. But hey. No one had seen a different side of me until Milano came along. That's when I got new cards to bring to the table. «Watchu want?» says Milano with a tease voice. I just stare at him, raise my eyebrow and poke him with my index finger. Just hard enough to give him a tilt. Like he doesn't know. I could prob turn this into a way to get myself some fun, or something else... Should I choose the flirty, risky or the safe way to perform this? I pause. I see his eyes widen, while he waits for an answer. "You. Dummy" I say while I narrow my eyes and give him an affirmative nod in his direction. You should have seen his face. Such a little thing can be so meaningful. He just smiled from ear to ear, so childish. Oh darn, my heart just skipped a beat.
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Part 1: Today was supposed to be my fairytale day. My perfect wedding day. I made my way to David, he took my hand in his, walking us closer to the long faced man who would be marrying us. The officiant started, greeting the room full of all my family, all of David's family. Going through the first reading easily. Giving their peace on the joy of marriages, it was bland, but acceptable. Moving along, the officiant announced in a loud voice, "If anyone here knows of any reason why these two should not be lawfully wed, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace." The officiant boomed over the crowd. I was caught off guard. This part was supposed to be just a formality, just a box to tick. No one was supposed to say anything. The world started to go in slow motion as Verity moved behind me a flicker in the corner of my vision. "David, I can't hide anymore." He said. As David's eyes went from me, to Verity, filled with concern. David looked over my head at Verity while he was holding my hands in his. I heard the crowd gasp, before everyone started to whisper. David dropped my hands. The whispers increased in intensity. Making the room sound like it was full of hissing snakes. David's attention wasn't anywhere near me. I looked up to see him looking over my head at my brother. With a look I had thought he had saved just for me, my heart breaking as my fairy tale became a nightmare. Part 2 also complete July 2023.

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