Half of me
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- Parts 3
Complete Sat, Oct 19, 20197m
I'm getting nervous, my palms are sweating, and my breath rhythm have speed up. I've never thought of myself as bisexual. I don't know, I feel if my family and friends find out about it, they would get this illusion that I'm not confident or sure about my self-esteem any longer? They prob think "oh, he's just insecure. Or he has changed". And whys that?
Maybe because I'm a stereotypical white boy. It's just how it turned out. I dress as everyone else, act like everyone else and maybe I think like everyone else? And suddenly I'm supposed to turn the table and become this love maniac, and all I talk about is love is love! Maybe get my nails painted too. I chuckle of the thought.
Maybe I am insecure? Kind of a4. But hey. No one had seen a different side of me until Milano came along. That's when I got new cards to bring to the table.
«Watchu want?» says Milano with a tease voice. I just stare at him, raise my eyebrow and poke him with my index finger. Just hard enough to give him a tilt. Like he doesn't know. I could prob turn this into a way to get myself some fun, or something else...
Should I choose the flirty, risky or the safe way to perform this?
I pause. I see his eyes widen, while he waits for an answer.
"You. Dummy" I say while I narrow my eyes and give him an affirmative nod in his direction. You should have seen his face. Such a little thing can be so meaningful. He just smiled from ear to ear, so childish.
Oh darn, my heart just skipped a beat.
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He once told me no one knows the real him.I didn't think he meant it, and not in a good way. He is a straight A student, and everyone knows it, not to mention he is on the swim team. All that though isn't the real him, the real him hides deep within himself. ---------- "Can you please tell me what that was?" I nearly shout at him. All I get is silence. He keeps his back to me. "Please, I need some explanation." I beg. I stay still as he stops dead in his tracks. His body is tense and it's scarring me. He turns around slowly to face me with his hands at his sides. His eyes meet mine, but there is no spark of any emotion in them. They are cold and dark making me look away not being able to hold his deadly stare. I feel uneasy under his gaze, and i feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of my face. "No, I won't explain because it's not important." He says in a low, almost, growl. I flinch and look back into his eyes. I feel hurt by his words and I don't know why, but I know he sees it in my eyes. His faces flashes with regret but it's quickly covered up with his faces going back to it's hard cold look. I feel my heart stop and my face go pale. His look terrified me making me hold my breath. "Breath." He orders. I start to breathe again and just blink at him. "Now go." He orders me again. I flinch involuntarily at his tone and jump back slightly. "Please don't let me walk home alone." I beg in a quiet voice, looking down at my feet. The next thing I see are his black combat boots right in front of my shoes. I look up into his eyes and he looks down into mine confusion written all over his face. "How come you aren't running yet?" He questions searching my eyes. "I just can't walk home alone, please I'm scared." I hear him chuckle. "You aren't afraid of me? What can possibly be scarier than me?" He asks. "Well, I know you will keep me safe." "Why is that?" He questions raising an eyebrow at me. "You haven't hurt me." "Yet." He mutters, but I roll my eyes.
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