Someone

Someone

Reads 235
Votes 5
Parts 3

MatureOngoing18m

Last published Fri, Oct 25, 2019

-- Warning its hella sh1t -- Why you shouldn't read this story/novel; A lot of visual imagery, especially about the surrounding nature but the story itself is bogged as a result of so many descriptive elements. The story is not in balance, focusing too much on the surroundings instead of the plot. And it isn't as fun to read-as I spent y/n walking thru the park over one paragraph... This is to establish a strong setting, then move straight to the story. While i focused on y/n loss of a friend, i need to establish a stronger relationship between yumiko and y/n. Rather than focusing on the initial meeting, perhaps focusing on their years of friendship instead. After reading this story, the loss of y/n experiences doesn't quite equate with how i have to establish their friendship moree... And who can be bothered to read frickin 2000 words This turned out to be criticism for myself, and me realising how many things i did wrong and what I can improve on but meh

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