Someone - idk - Wattpad

Story cover for Someone by Pay_kha

Someone

Reads 233
Votes 5
Parts 3
Time 18m

Reads 233
Votes 5
Parts 3
Time 18m

Mature

-- Warning its hella sh1t --

Why you shouldn't read this story/novel;
A lot of visual imagery, especially about the surrounding nature but the story itself is bogged as a result of so many descriptive elements.
The story is not in balance, focusing too much on the surroundings instead of the plot.
And it isn't as fun to read-as I spent y/n walking thru the park over one paragraph...
This is to establish a strong setting, then move straight to the story. While i focused on y/n loss of a friend, i need to establish a stronger relationship between yumiko and y/n. Rather than focusing on the initial meeting, perhaps focusing on their years of friendship instead.
After reading this story, the loss of y/n experiences doesn't quite equate with how i have to establish their friendship moree...
And who can be bothered to read frickin 2000 words

This turned out to be criticism for myself, and me realising how many things i did wrong and what I can improve on
 but mehAll Rights Reserved

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Some Lies can Run by sheepdog_thegreat

It's the future, and a war has knocked out half of the human race. The jungle has taken over most of the land, and people live in tribes or groups deep within the forest. Every group has a population of at least 300, and all of the tribes are against each other. Naikee lives in a group called the Sowadan group, and they live in the south region of the world. Each group is forbidden to go past the gates that hide their villages. Naikee is sick and tired of living within the walls of her villages, and she's always wondered what it would be like to go past them. On the morning of her Celebration of Life (basically a birthday), she finds a whole in the wall and runs past the gates and into the wild. After days of traveling she accidentally runs into a group called the Kaiboo, which are one of the most dangerous groups in the world. They are known for their cannibalism, though no one has ever dared to enter their gates. Before anyone can capture her, a boy named Mika runs into her and takes her to a secret underground storage. He only goes to her and talks to give her the meals at morning, afternoon, and night. After several days of this same thing, Naikee finally confronts him and makes him tell her whats going on. They get to talking, and he comes back to check on her more often now. As she develops a crush and they fall in love, they don't realize but they might be changing the course of history. Note: I'm sorry about the spacing, I'm not exactly sure how to do this because it's my first story. Someone can comment to me how to space if they're bothered by it, but just know each new section in a chapter is meant to be a new paragraph. Thank you so much fo reading!!! @allie!!!!!

$Suicidal Attraction {Old Version} by _DarkQueen$

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Some Lies can Run

It's the future, and a war has knocked out half of the human race. The jungle has taken over most of the land, and people live in tribes or groups deep within the forest. Every group has a population of at least 300, and all of the tribes are against each other. Naikee lives in a group called the Sowadan group, and they live in the south region of the world. Each group is forbidden to go past the gates that hide their villages. Naikee is sick and tired of living within the walls of her villages, and she's always wondered what it would be like to go past them. On the morning of her Celebration of Life (basically a birthday), she finds a whole in the wall and runs past the gates and into the wild. After days of traveling she accidentally runs into a group called the Kaiboo, which are one of the most dangerous groups in the world. They are known for their cannibalism, though no one has ever dared to enter their gates. Before anyone can capture her, a boy named Mika runs into her and takes her to a secret underground storage. He only goes to her and talks to give her the meals at morning, afternoon, and night. After several days of this same thing, Naikee finally confronts him and makes him tell her whats going on. They get to talking, and he comes back to check on her more often now. As she develops a crush and they fall in love, they don't realize but they might be changing the course of history. Note: I'm sorry about the spacing, I'm not exactly sure how to do this because it's my first story. Someone can comment to me how to space if they're bothered by it, but just know each new section in a chapter is meant to be a new paragraph. Thank you so much fo reading!!! @allie!!!!!