Story cover for Back to Square One by P2PaigeTew
Back to Square One
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    Hora 5h 11m
  • WpView
    LECTURAS 16,332
  • WpVote
    Votos 451
  • WpPart
    Partes 50
  • WpHistory
    Hora 5h 11m
Concluida, Has publicado ago 12, 2019
Contenido adulto
As I stare at myself in the mirror, I don't even recognize the reflection.

I'm a married woman, and I can't get over that. I'm only wearing red lace underwear at the moment. I wear sexy panties and bras now because I have someone who's seeing them every day other than myself. Does he wear special boxers...?  I'm not ready to think about Silas that way yet. It is still too weird.

I am a little surprised that I haven't had a meltdown yet. I've never had a panic attack before, but my life has been turned upside-down. I have a pretty damn good excuse to have one. Everyone is probably expecting that I will. They may even be surprised that I haven't yet.

 Eight years erased... 

Eight years to learn...

I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I'm still me... just older. I rub lotion into my face, examining it closely. Still me. Same blue eyes. Same shallow dimples in my cheeks. Same lips that cover straight teeth that my parents paid a lot of money for.

I step back and take in my body. A little curvier then I remember, but not by much. I guess with marriage comes comfort weight. 

My hair is the same blonde, just longer. 

How odd to have everything the same... yet so different.

Completed July of 2019
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nothing in my life has ever been mine, any of my choices, my favourite things, the people i've been with, my body that somehow seems to belong to someone else, anyone else. it's all my fault though, i was meant to fight it, i never should've let myself fill the mold that was laid out for me. now it's too late, i ruined the first real relationship i had, one that showed me and everyone who ever underestimated my desire for commitment, mainly my parents, to have no fear. i can settle down. well, i thought i could at least for the past two years, not anymore. so i chose to invest all of me into something bigger and now i'm in the waiting room of a company where i applied for the job i want to be mine. i didn't listen to anyone else's input, i didn't really let them weigh in, the decision is mine. after further consideration, that's not the full truth, maybe i no longer want to be hired for this position if it means it could also be hers. the woman i met in the bathroom earlier. our conversation barely took a few minutes, but it was enough to make me wish i never started it, to make me want to erase everything i've put into this since submitting my CV. the way she carried herself and how composed she seemed, especially compared to me at that moment, were stronger than the illusion of sympathy and comfort she radiated. i hate when i can't read people and she is an example of the reason. it causes me to feel weak and that's how she must've perceived me, which is why it's the way i currently see myself. everything is, in fact, going down the drain. she might have as well chose to spit in my face with her perfect mouth. i imagine it would feel less degrading than the cold stare and apathetic words. i probably would've thanked her. that's fucked up, isn't it? i shouldn't even be thinking about her right now. i'll never see her again. disclaimer: description of an abusive relationship (not the one between the main characters), other sensitive topics such as grief.
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24 partes Concluida Contenido adulto

Angel Adams is my name, and having a carefree life is my goal. After graduating from college, I spent the rest of my life jumping from job to job. Making do with living in New York City, from paycheck to paycheck. I don't mind. Money is fake and we live on a floating rock anyways. For the past five years, nothing really stuck with me. The universe changes every millisecond and I go with the flow. Never been in a long-lasting relationship because I get bored. I almost did not graduate college in time because I wanted to do everything and nothing at once. All I want is to move to an island, relax and not work because I don't dream of labor. My parents hate my mentality, they love to call me lazy while my therapist says I am suppressing. I call it going with the flow and having fun. Who would've guessed that the only job that had my interest for the past year and a half, would lead to me marrying a millionaire? The universe works in weird ways but who am I to question, I just go with the flow. ---- Sequel to "Do you love me?" This can be read as a stand-alone but "Do you love me?" is a short story and it sorts of sets the plot. --- *The cover doesn't depict her, you imagine her as dark/light as you want.(she is black tho)