Elated Misery
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- Parts 8
Senior year was crazy. I had never been put through so much shit. I don't remember ever being as happy as I was that year, but I don't remember ever being as sad either. Then again, depression and all the shit I was going through wouldn't disappear from one day to the other and the people who surrounded me didn't give a rat's ass about me, even if they acted like they did, and my family, who were the only ones I could trust wouldn't understand me. It was miserable. But at the end of the day, that's what high school is. Misery. Misery disguised as the best years of your life.
Elated misery.
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They say what's in the past keep it in the past but I wanted to know all about my past. It was things that I didn't know and that I wanted and needed to know! But my life turned upside down when my past is exactly what I should have left alone. Now if you ask me how it all began, I don't exactly remember but I know it started when I moved in with my grandma who I haven't met in all my twenty years of living. I have been in and out of foster homes since I can remember, living with families I knew nothing about. Being the outcast and them constantly asking me what's wrong because I simply did not speak. The only thing that kept me sane was my good grades throughout school. I got the satisfaction of doing the one thing that people kept telling me over and over I couldn't do. I stayed to myself and graduated high school with honors, getting a full-ride scholarship to any college of my choice. Of course, by having this accomplishment, it didn't make it any easier for me between my foster families. To them, I became the girl who was better than them. But I didn't care because when I turned twenty I finally got to start making my own choices. This is where I wonder if the first choice I made was the right one. The first choice I made was to go live off-campus with my grandmother during my first semester in college. I ask myself how could I be so stupid? But you will see just how stupid I was. Or was I?
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