TOXIC
  • Reads 2,604
  • Votes 409
  • Parts 20
  • Time 3h 40m
  • Reads 2,604
  • Votes 409
  • Parts 20
  • Time 3h 40m
Ongoing, First published Aug 28, 2019
Mature
Thing is, at one point in my life, I started asking myself why in the hell my mom would name me Cahira.

Definition: Warrior. 

See, it's like this. One night at the club, I hit the lotto. I met Kody Prince, he wanted me. We hit it off. I hit the jackpot because dude was loaded-with money and every other evil things there was. 

Think you know what I mean? You don't. 

Then there was Malachi, my childhood best friend, around to remind me of what coulda, woulda, shoulda been. He makes it clear that he wants me. And I want him. Sounds easy enough, right?

Except, when you hit the lotto by copping a Prince, he doesn't let you go just like that. 

Rating: Mature

(Some countenances and aspects of this story may be sensitive for some readers)
All Rights Reserved
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This is my truth

72 parts Ongoing

My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.