me & my total lack of identity - ktpenman - Wattpad

me & my total lack of identity

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Reads 50
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Parts 1
Time 1h 39m

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abuse acting actor actress castingcouch celebrity childactor conspiracy drugs fame hollywood illuminati mindcontrol movies moviestar murder newadult pills sexualabuse splitpersonalty trauma women youngwoman

A young actress navigates the politics of Hollywood in pursuit of a coveted role, all the while dealing with a double life, family, addiction and romance. 

...later that night as i rubbed cocoa butter into my skin, i made a list of things i would do to get the part. ANYTHING. 
you see, i need this part in this movie, it's the one that will make me a BIG STAR. ok, i kind of already am a celebrity but that's all another story. thing is my life's a little crazy right now & there's so much stuff standing in the way. there's FAMILY- of course & then the boyfriend, i'm not sure about that, we'll see. also, i also have this little PILL HABIT, it's just little, really  (kind of a secret), then top it all off with some MIND CONTROL but i don't know about that or do i? 
it's so confusing, all rabbit holes & no rainbows, but the sacrifices- it's worth it, right? Because i want to be a star, i really do. 
i think.

** This story contains child abuse, sexual assault, drug use, murder and thoughts of suicide. A dark story intended for mature audiences.


The story is meant to be read as is, small case was done as a stylistic mode. I notice especially the letter i as in myself reverted to a capital so i will be fixing that. I will be doing another check to find any typos which after a million edits, still appear. 

Although people have noticed similarities in some of the characters to real people I like to be clear that I first published this story in May of 2016, a couple years before  the Weinstein scandal and the #metoo movement.All Rights Reserved

abuse acting actor actress castingcouch celebrity childactor conspiracy drugs fame hollywood illuminati mindcontrol movies moviestar murder newadult pills sexualabuse splitpersonalty trauma women youngwoman

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me & my total lack of identity
Tue, Sep 3, 2019

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me & my total lack of identity
Tue, Sep 3, 2019

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Gone Too Far (Police Officer/Delinquent Relationship) BOOK 1 (COMPLETED)

M for manipulative A for attitude I for impulsive S for sarcastic I for irresistible E for emotionally unavailable Growing up, you're told that the safest choice in destructive situations is to walk away. Whether it's a destructive personality or you're in an uncomfortable situation, you leave because your conscience tells you that enough is enough. --- But my conscience is on indefinite holiday in the Bermuda Triangle. I am the destructive personality that your parents warned you about. The girl who hangs out with people that pressure you into drugs. The girl who invites you to a party, fully knowing it will end early because her "friends" are completely neurotic. I'm the girl who encourages you to sleep with multiple people, regardless of who they are or what they have, because who says you can't? If I invite you out, don't expect me to stick around long because I get bored easily-leaving you stranded in a field somewhere in the middle of nowhere, telling you to call a taxi-even if there's no service. I'll admit, I'm a girl who didn't care about much of anything or have much to give. Maybe you'd see things differently if you understood the true horror I've been through. --- Then, after a binge and a drive, I end up in trouble. But that's not the only trouble I find. --- Suddenly, the door swung open, and in rushed my mother. She saw me sitting in the chair and rushed over, scolding me almost immediately. "Maisie Scarlett Brooks, what were you thinking?!" "I was thinking it was time to come home and go to bed. Instead, I get pulled over by some obnoxious police officer."