Superheroes Are Boring

I'm the worst fucking hero on the planet.

~~~~~

Gradient is Frye's friendly protector. He saves the cats from trees, helps the old ladies cross the road and has a bad habit of cracking his knuckles. He's also an immense joke of a superhuman with the uncanny curse of screwing things up.

So of course, when he encounters the villainous Inferno (who, besides being evil and set on world domination, also has a soft spot for puppies) his world does an entire 180°.

~~~~~

"I've destroyed your headquarters and soon I will destroy your pathetic excuse of a cit-" Inferno suddenly cut off. He glanced down to where his coat dragged on the floor and sure enough, there was the hero. Swaddled in his cape. Adorably.

ᴀᴅᴏʀᴀʙʟᴇ!? ᴡᴀɪᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴ -, Inferno's thoughts tripped as the hero known as Gradient snuggled further into his coat. Not that his coat minded, the blasted thing lifted half off the ground to wrap around the hero.

"Well, it's not my fault that you dragged me out here. I'm cold," Gradient's words were muffled. It wasn't even two seconds later that soft snores could be heard from him.

ᴀʜ ғᴜᴄᴋ. ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴏᴜs, ᴀᴅᴏʀᴀʙʟᴇ sᴜᴘᴇʀʜᴇʀᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ʜɪᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ - one look at they way his coat coddled the hero was enough to stop that train of thought.

The villain sighed.

"I hate supers," he muttered as he bent down to pick up his hero.